Sharing the story of a desperate heart over at the #Loft today to remind us that God is there at the perfect moment, even when despair is ready to consume us, and it is never too late…

I spoke to a lovely group of ladies, where a  beautiful young lady was asked to do special music for the event.  I knew the song but never really paid much attention to it until that day, hearing it sweetly and gently sung by this precious woman.  I hadn’t realized that some of the lyrics in the song really spoke of my story and my journey of coming to Christ and delivering my marriage.  I just couldn’t get the song out of my mind.  (Interesting how God really does put things together since she and I didn’t even know each other!)

God has given me specific verses that I use to encapsulate my story of being a desperate young mom who had exhausted all her efforts to ‘make life work’ or ‘make sense’.  Instead, all I kept doing was digging my hole deeper and deeper with every poor choice and mistake piling in upon me and weighing me down so that every attempt to climb out only felt like trying to pull myself out of quick sand.  I was being sucked in and frankly, I was just about at the place of letting go of all hope, figuring I would never find ‘happiness’ and I just wanted to give up.  However, that was the place or point where God could finally do the work He had planned all along.

The chorus of the song that was sung by the beautiful guest vocalist was so fitting because I was there, I was a broken, miserable and pretty desperate mess of a woman, failing in all of my attempts to find happiness.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of a breaking heart,
Are better than a Hallelujah…

I am reminded of how patient our heavenly Father is with us.  He really does know that some of us have to bottom out not only once sometimes more times as we stubbornly keep trying to do things “our way” instead of pleading for help.  This only reminds me of how kind our Father truly is toward His wayward children.  Another line from the song:

The tears of shame for what’s been done
The silence when the words won’t come,
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

The verse that speaks so clearly of the day that Jesus rescued me from everything that I had attempted to do on my own in an effort to find peace is from Psalm 40:1-3:

“I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.  He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.”

God, my Father, could have left me flailing, trying to continue in my useless efforts to get out of my self-made pit…but He didn’t!  He heard the broken cries of one who finally let go of trying to “do it on her own”! Instead  He knew I was truly ready to be plucked out.  

Here is Psalm 40:1-3 once again but from the Message paraphrase:

I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God.

My life hasn’t been the same since the day I gave my broken Hallelujah to my God.  I am very encouraged to know that the heart song we sing never goes unnoticed by the Father!  He never turns His back on our cries. Like the verses above read, He is patient in His waiting for us to finally say we can’t do it on our own, or by ourselves!  Help, help me Lord…

Are you at that place today where a broken Hallelujah is all you can muster or where out of sheer desperation your heart is on the verge of failing and you just can’t go another step on your own?  Oh my friend, God has been patiently waiting for this very moment when you would lay down your self-made efforts and allow Him to ‘bring you up’, up out of your own miserable pit.  He is your rescuer, your deliverer and your present help in times of trouble.  I urge you to cry out to Him now, give Him your broken Hallelujah, He not only cares for you but He loves you and He won’t turn His back on you!