Browsing Category: Loneliness

It’s the Most Wonderful Time…

Ah yes, the lyrics are in my head, “It’s the most wonderful time, it’s the hap…happiest time of the year”.  Is that really true?  Is it really the most wonderful time of the year for you? Personally, I waver back and forth between good and sad!  I have had some good Christmases and some very sad ones.  Most of the difficult ones have come as a result of poor choices I have made in my life.  At those places when I was either a little girl in an unhappy family setting, a lonely runaway when I didn’t even know it was Christmas and then in a marriage that was very difficult where my family suffered from the results of alcoholism. These were times when I had no hope because Christ was not in my life.

Is Christmastime a Difficult Time for You?

At times–even as a believer–Christmas has been sad or difficult.  I just wanted that perfect picture to fit my family! You know, the Currier & Ives depiction of the perfect family? Having prodigals in your family somehow throws the curveball into the ‘perfect’ picture.  And it’s just as if one took a black marker and stroked through that beautiful picturesque scene. These are times when all the sentiment and family time just doesn’t take away the pain of watching a loved ones flail through life.

Prince of Peace

 

However, deep inside the recesses of my heart, I really do have peace and joy.  But it sure isn’t because my family looks and acts perfectly! It is because of the Christmas story.  An incredible expression of love that was lavished upon mankind as the Creator of ALL. He humbled Himself to come as a little baby, being birthed in a lowly manger just so that we could once again be in fellowship. He restored what was broken in the Garden of Eden.

 

 

You Are Loved…

This extravagant love, poured out in the form of a baby, child, then man, the Christ, was God’s greatest work from a desire to once again have fellowship with us.  As it tells us in Genesis 1:26,27,

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 

We have been created in God’s very own image!  That is sometimes too big for my comprehension but…I have accepted this truth and accepted the Christ who came yet was crucified, died, and buried (defeating death) when He rose on the third day! All for those who will receive the loving offer of redemption through His shed blood.

John 1.14 Christmas

Christ Our Hope!

So in the midst of your Christmas, I pray you will know the peace that surpasses even the difficulties (and there are so many things that try to rob this peace from us), whether death of a loved one, divorce, prodigals, sickness, financial loss, hunger…remember, Christ is the one who fills us completely with His peace and purpose in spite of the former mentioned.  Click To Tweet

With love and a blessed Christmas to you all!

 

Oh Momma, are You at Peace Today?

John16.33Is your contentment contingent on another’s happiness? Whether it is our children, our spouse, our our boss, too often unless they are happy then we will want to or tend to do cartwheels to make them happy. When they aren’t then we may have trouble settling in and being at peace.

Too often our thoughts and the things that we do are perpetuated by what another thinks or by how they may respond. I think we call that walking on eggshells! Boy that can make us one miserable and sometimes neurotic person!

I want to encourage you to look inside and ask yourself just what it is that gives you peace and contentment. If you find it is in pleasing others then “Houston, we have a problem!”

So where do I go and what do I do to find true happiness?

First of all let me ask what is it that causes you to feel content?

Where do you derive that sense of peace that makes you feel ‘real’ joy?

I know that for myself, it didn’t come until I was willing to let go or cut off every string of a someone else “if only they…” that drained life and peace from me. I did so someone else would be happy or see value in me. I controlled so that someone else would not get upset. And on and on the vicious cycle would go. Family, loved ones and our friends can be wonderful, because relationships are extremely important! Part of who the human race is and why we exist is to be relational, by God’s design. And of course ultimately pointing to Him. But when we can’t find contentment apart from others then we really do need to purpose to know why not.

When I came to Christ as a troubled young mom who was extremely co-dependent, I was not a very happy or peace filled person. My joy was too contingent on others. For thirteen years I struggled to be content. I was never truly happy and my world basically fell apart, not to mention that my marriage came pretty close to a disastrous end as well.

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I remember a time when my husband and I had words that weren’t good or healthy. I was so upset and of course the first thing I wanted to do was run to the phone to talk to an older wiser woman of God. I am not kidding you when I say that when I went to pick up the phone the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Put down the phone and call upon me.” Wow, I did, and I prayed and talked to the Lord and felt more at peace than I had for some time.

You see our tendency is to run to others to solve our problems or to gather our troops. To prove our case is right and that our ‘enemy’ is wrong. Way to solve a problem…not!

It wasn’t until I continued to run to my Abba Father and cry on His shoulders that I could finally find contentment and peace in the midst of my storms. Hey, I had to learn the hard way and it really was a slow process for this hard-hearted woman.  I could no longer keep looking at people to make me happy, to solve my problems so I could have peace. I realized that it needed to come from within, from listening to the Holy Spirit to guide and show me my shortcomings and sin which when confessed lightens the heart!

You may have guessed that this verse in John 16:33 is one I lean hard into…

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

How does knowing this help my situation? I have said many times that I purposed long ago when I came to Christ to although not understanding much of what I read in the Bible, I would choose to believe even what I couldn’t understand. That the Lord would reveal to me what he wanted me to know when I needed to know it.

I have peace knowing that God is sovereign, omniscient and that in spite of His greatness, He cares greatly about me and those things that I am concerned about! My fears and failures. Click To Tweet

In trusting a God like that, I can have peace that passes ALL understanding, even when my world is crumbling apart.

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Oh momma…I want to encourage you to not doubt the God who loves you. Did you know it is a sin not to believe? This isn’t some wishy washy, comme ce, comme ca, kind of God who is in and out, here or there, maybe I can trust Him maybe not. If we don’t believe in what He says then why are we pretending to “Believe” in Christ?

Will you ponder these first three verses of Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;

Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

Let your heart find rest not in people, for they can disappoint and let you down. Not in the doing all the right things, to be affirmed (you won’t make it anyway or you will make yourself sick trying!) How about simply allowing yourself to rest in Him. To be comforted by Him. To be surrounded and loved by Him?

The last four verses of Psalm 46 should give way to reassuring your troubled heart:

     Come, behold the works of the LORD,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.

He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.

“Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

“Cease striving and know that I am God”…another version says, “Be still and know that I am God…” Tonight when you lay your head on your pillow to sleep or hope too, remind yourself of your commitment to Him. Your commitment to trust Him in ALL things, to put your hope in Him so that He can fill you with faith, trust and confidence in Him.

Lord, when my heart is in panic mode and I don’t know where to turn I know I can turn to you! You are the only One who can show me true peace which allows me to truly rest in You. Thank You for loving me and caring for me like nobody else can. There is none like You Lord and I am grateful to be Your child…amen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6eDvl4Xbh8

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Forever and Ever…Amen

SorrowfulDo you believe that God can work in the hard stuff life doles out? I have lived it and maybe you as well. Please stop by where I am guest posting at Holly Barrett’s Testimony Tuesday” to share the goodness of the Lord! He will meet us when we ask.

This post was featured at Holly Barrett’s Testimony Tuesday as a guest blog on April 14, 2015 with that link no longer available.

It was a year…a year when many issues came to the surface and I was forced to take a serious look at myself and my marriage covenant. I felt hopeless, bound to a yucky body, a yucky marriage and a difficult son. To be perfectly honest, I wanted out of it all and I began to ponder the simplicity of just calling it quits on life.

When I was just an early teen in NYC, I couldn’t handle life then either and being in an unstable state of mind I downed my mom’s Valium and hoped to never wake up…but I did. I was rescued only to find out that I couldn’t escape my problems by just taking pills, or drugs, or alcohol or by delving into relationships. I just wanted to be loved!

But this time it was different. I was in my early forties, I was a Christian woman and had been for about 13 years but I was also disillusioned with life and my ‘faith’. Somehow I was deceived in my looking for love in all the wrong places I thought all these peripherals could make life liveable. A man who was stable, who could help me with my wild and crazy kids, a new home, a satisfying job in Christian radio and friends, I finally had some friends!

I had been recently hired at our local Christian radio station for full-time work as a bookkeeper and being the “Words of Affirmation” girl that I am, I was getting the strokes. Kimberly, you are doing a great job! Keep up the great work. You see, we had lost our manager from a tragic accident the previous fall and jobs were shifted around allowing me to begin full-time work.

Going to work became my escape. I could escape the craziness of home life that involved an angry husband, teenagers with one being extremely problematic.

At home I began to hate who I was becoming. I had started perimenopause and if you have ever been there you know exactly what I’m talking about…it stinks! I hated what my body was doing putting on excessive amounts of weight and water retention. I didn’t want anything to do with being intimate with my husband which sure didn’t help anything! We were all a mess! If either of us had uttered leaving, it wouldn’t have taken much for one of us to just go!

One night on my way home from working late (learning curve), I knew I would be hollered at for a late supper and who’s going to run kids to where and pickup whom…yup, I could just hear it. As I pulled my car in the garage. A song came on that broke my heart, reminding me of who is in control and beckoning me to remember my covenant. I clung to my steering wheel with tears running all over and listened…God was speaking to me through the words of John Starnes song, “I Plead the Blood”.

I remembered my covenant and I plead the blood over my family and home asking the Lord to help me be true to my words that I would never, ever again divorce! And He did just that…as I  prayed that the Lord would my husband joy and give me a love for him that had waned through years of disappointments.

Soon after I heard the Lord prompt me to pray for my guys (husband and two sons, one of whom was then in a locked treatment facility) to go to Promise Keepers in Minneapolis. So I did and my husband and oldest were able to go! It was at this juncture in his life that he recommitted his life to the Lord!

Friends, things did begin to gradually change. My husband does smile and laugh and can be joy-filled at times. He has become a man of God who is growing closer and closer to the Lord and to me. As for me, I would say that I love him more than I ever have! And we will celebrate 29 years in October!

I know my story isn’t like yours, but I do know that my God is the same as yours. I am not going to try to visit your scenario and tell you what to do. I am however going to remind you that He never changes and that He can be trusted with whatever impossibility we are willing to give to Him.

In Matthew 6:33 we are reminded of where to turn in our times of need. And in Philippians 4:6,7 we are instructed to be anxious for nothing, to pray about everything, and to be thankful in all things. When we are obedient to respond his way we are filled with the peace that even passes ALL understanding! Will you trust Him?

KD cropped sqSince 1990, Kimberly Nyborg, has worked at Northern Minnesota’s Christian radio station. She has served as host of a daily two hour music program for Psalm FM radio since 2004. Kimberly is involved in Women’s ministry and she speaks for various women’s events around the Midwest. She makes her home with her husband Jerry, in the “Icebox of the Nation”, International Falls, MN.

www.kimberlynyborg.com
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How Are Your Communication Skills?

Are you a Facebook junkie? I think I am a borderliner. I find myself looking far too often and well, sometimes I’m a bit obsessed with postings and emails. I have a page on Facebook which is used for ministry and my radio program so I love to get activity related to that page which may mean I am over there more than necessary. But as great as some of this can be…it has sure put a different twist on communication.

Ephesians 519Communication: the act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else.

This is the first meaning that shows up under Mirriam-Webster’s definitions and as you see we communicate through a variety of methods. However the modern day communication seems to remove the personal touch, using only text, words and pictures, brought about through a keypad. So it tends to be void of voice and the emotion that voice can relay. I have gotten in trouble with friends through misinterpreting the wording of text because it lacks that expression if you know what I mean. This can be dangerous for relationships and misunderstandings happen because of it.

God certainly has a view on our communication with one another from a spiritual standpoint, from Ephesians 5:19:

“…addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,…”

Try to txt that!

When I want time with my husband (who doesn’t use modern technology except for a flip style cell phone) I have to purpose to bring no other communication tool into the conversation or he just gets upset! I understand completely. Haven’t you seen kids all standing by one another in silence as they txt on their devises, void of expression? It is downright eery! Yet on vacation not too long ago, here we were, me, my sister and my son, all on cell phones, checking messages, txt and out of touch with each other in the very same room. Ha, my co-worker said, “I’m afraid when Jesus comes we are all going to be busy txting and miss Him.”

My plan to remain in communication has had to include a fast at various times, staying off on the weekends (for the most part) and trying to reply in ways other than txting. But it is hard. Hard maybe because so many of my friends use this form as well. And I think communication has become difficult because of it.

Someone passed this video along and I thought it might be worth listening to. After you do you might just use it to assess how you are doing on the communication scale. One thing is for sure, it will make you think, and then think twice the next time you pick up your phone to not call, but txt someone!

Communication!

It’s All About Me…Really?

Words of affirmationClose your eyes, stop and think…random now…where does your mind drift off to? Honestly, I sure think most about me, my world, my home, family, problems and agendas and more ME! It kind of bugs ME to have a Me mindset. After all I share my home with others and thoughts of them tend to bring ME back around to ME. I rather think that this is a natural inclination, to be ME focused. However, as a woman of God, I am learning that this journey here on earth is NOT about ME!

I may have mentioned before that when I read Francis Chan’s “Crazy Love”, it totally rocked my world…forcing me to see outside of me, myself and I. That was a good thing! But I still struggle with myself and my little world rising to the surface. There are so many needs in this world that I become very overwhelmed when thinking about my part in helping others. And what I have found is to practice looking beyond self really starts right in my own home!

As a wife, I need to build into my husband the very elements that I myself desire. What wife doesn’t want a husband who is kind to them? So it is my responsibility to respond to him with kindness. But even when he can be unkind to me? Absolutely! Ask yourself when the last time you were genuinely kind to your spouse and remember how he reacted. Especially those times when you made the choice to respond to him with kindness and inside you were wanting to do likewise!

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. Proverbs 15:1,2

I love the verses above! What is on the tip of the tongue can sway a response every time! And making the choice to respond in kindness will always have an impact. You may not always see the response immediately but believe me it will percolate inside the recipients heart and soften instead of hardening that person’s response.

Do you find yourself sometimes wishing your spouse were gentler and kinder with his words? I have and do with my guy! He loves to be right and he loves to get me to react (and believe me, most times I do!) But I have tested this response thing and nine times out of ten, what I have found is that my gentle, kind response, diffuses his ire!

So here’s the challenge…purpose to respond differently than you would normally, put on that kindness and give it a try…see what happens and let me know how it has worked for you!