Tag Archives: Grief

Why God…Why?

God, life is so stinkin’ hard…………………

Why do we have to endure sorrow, grief, pain, broken hearts, abrupt change and death……………………….

There, I said it, that word that changes the face of everything.  Nothing is the same once it visits and all that is left is what resides in our memory.  Not to mention all the flood of shoulda, coulda, woulda’s…

I wish I had gone and tried to mend our relationship and said that it is okay and I forgive you…

I should have been there for them and maybe if I had this wouldn’t have ended like this or I wish I could have seen them once more before they departed this earth…

I would have given you the hug that I always withhold cause hugs are difficult for me to give (you know me) and I would have said just how much I love you so that there would never be any doubt about it…

The appearance of death at our doorsteps is inevitable…it will come!  So whenever I am touched by tragic loss, I first think oh my that could have been my loved one, and I thank God for the fact that it wasn’t but my heart bleeds for those now going through tragic loss.

The Word tells us that we are to mourn with those who mourn and in so doing we are sharing in the pain a person/family is going through.  God knows we weren’t intended to go there alone.  I remember an awful experience from winter when I got word one of my kids had been injured in a strange accident which should have resulted in a death, or at least disability.  I was devastated to think of what life might look like for this wandering one.  The emotional tide that washed over me was almost too much to bear.  And I was able to allow God to wrap me in His love with the promise that it would be alright.  In my loved one’s situation it turned for extreme good…

Then word came of the dear saint who lost her girl in a tragic accident…senselessly lost by the carelessness of a drunken driver.  A loss that has impacted a husband and family, his family, her family, friends and friends of family…and it goes on and on.  Our hearts  hurt for the loss of this dear woman of God and those others mentioned and yet we wrestle in our minds “why”? Why now, why her, why this way, why, why, why.

We go to the Father with all the questions and He allows us to question His sovereignty and His perfect plan and the fact that why did she have to go like this…God why???  And lovingly and ever so gently He reminds us that our days are preordained and that it will be okay and that not only does He love us but He reminds us that our loved one–because of being His child–is safe and securely with Him in glory!

Revelation 21:4 says what we all long to hear in the heat of our pain…

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither

shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

So we lean hard into the truth and we trust that someday He will turn our mourning into dancing when we once again see our loved one and God’s perfect plan becomes evidenced in our hearts and that the truth which is sometimes so hard to hear now makes perfect sense.

A hope song from Jeremy Camp, “There Will Be A Day”


Thank you Father for being our comforter in the most difficult of times.  For some reason You allow us to experience excruciating pain whether physical or emotional and we just cry out to You and must trust You will take it away or not.  That You will give us the ability to endure it even though it feels like we are awash with the weight of the world as we go through this time of tragedy.  Thank You for holding our loved ones who grieve and for your promise that there will be a day when there will be no more tears and no more pain to endure albeit tears of joy, amen.”

A Time of Sorrow…

A few years back our community was  saddened 

English: Comfort in Grief

by the deaths of four people, all suddenly and all within a week. In a community of approximately 6,500, you realize that the loss of four people (who were a vital part of the community) is significant. This created heavy sadness as we were all grieved at the loss we all felt here. 

Most people–if in our thirties upward–are usually jogged when the loss takes a woman in her early forties, a woman and man in their fifties and a sixty year old man suddenly. We are shocked and suddenly drawn to ponder the brevity of life. That probably is not such a bad thing to do once in a while but it is difficult on the heels of four deaths in a row. 

The first death was extremely sudden and the gentleman was a custodian in our schools. A good man and loved by the kids and staff as well. He leaves a wife and several children. His funeral was even at the High School where he spent so much of his time. My daughter went to school with his son and stepdaughter and she even made it home to attend his funeral. 

While preparing to come home for that funeral, my daughter also got word of the death of one of her best friend’s sister. She had been hospitalized suddenly a few weeks prior and given a short time to live. Friends, she was only forty-two, a wife and mother of two young men! My daughter being so concerned for her dear friend was beside herself. Needless to say she planned to return home once again to attend another funeral. This one was a bit more personal because she had known the family since a young age. 

The man in his sixties was unknown to me but many others knew him. I don’t really know anything about him but I believe that sixty is just too young! I have a friend whose husband was impacted by his death because they graduated together. How hard it is when we begin to see people our own age die. 

Finally, I want to mention the life of a vivacious woman who I had the privilege of knowing (as many others did) because she was dedicated to helping people achieve their college degrees. Several years prior she was dealt the blow of cancer and survived only to have it return again and take her. She left a husband, daughter and many people who loved her for her kindness and fun personality, but mostly because she seemed to genuinely care. Her life has had an impact on many because of the job she held at our community college. 

Death is an interesting process that we will all have to go through as the life process completes. It will come to all of us! It will have an affect on the people in our sphere of influence and most probably on our families. To those in the process of grieving the loss of someone it can just be so difficult to process through. We miss those who are taken at such a young age and unexpectedly. We wonder about all the “what if’s” and what could have been done differently, and all the things we should have said to that one who leaves us so suddenly. Chances are good that for a time we will change the way we look at life as we see it a bit shorter than we did previously. 

I recently had my own epiphany regarding life and its brevity. My belief in Jesus Christ has given me a fresh outlook on life and one thing I know is that it is the Lord who gives and takes away. His hand is providential and He guides us along the way. Yes, things like cancer and poor health can come along and zap us but the Lord permits all things to happen to His children. Not one thing happens that hasn’t been run through His loving hand, and He is aware of everything that affects our life. 

In the third chapter of Ecclesiastes we read from the pen of King Solomon (the wisest of men) that there is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

A time to be born, And a time to die;

A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill, And a time to heal;

A time to break down, And a time to build up;

A time to weep, And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain, And a time to lose;

A time to keep, And a time to throw away;

A time to tear, And a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;

A time to love, And a time to hate;

A time of war, And a time of peace. (:2-8 NKJ) 

How is your life today? Like me you might choose to run about, harried with too much to do—without much thought about tomorrow. But let me encourage you to look out beyond yourself today. If we could just make a difference for one person each day we have on the face of this earth,  we will make a significant difference and be remembered for how we loved God and loved each other! I continue to say that I want to finish this earthly race strong. Whether in sickness or in health I can make a difference within my sphere of influence. 

Friend, how about you? How is your heart today? Will you look beyond yourself and see others the way God sees them? 

Father, show me who it is today that needs an extra touch of kindness. Let me be the one who will do something kind for someone who needs help today. Use my words of encouragement to help that struggling one to go another day! Let me bring words of hope that will make a difference, in Jesus Name, amen.

You Give and Take Away…

My heart is so heavy for several people once again!  Someone said to me, that you can’t take on everyone’s burdens but the more I think about it the more I believe that if it is God-given, then we can and that’s when we are supposed to pray like crazy!

A momma to be…well, only for nine months and then…a precious little life is taken away prematurely only to leave a gaping hole in the hearts of a young couple who waited and waited for joy to burst forth to welcome their little one and fulfill their dreams.  But it was denied and only God Himself knows why.

Lord, why do our babies have to go so suddenly?  Why are dreams left suspended only to  watch everyone else with their little ones and other pregnant mommies and happy, happy new parents thrilled to show their new precious bundles of joy…Yet, this momma has nothing but empty arms and tender breast that were supposed to nurse nourishment and a sweet little nursery that sits empty still waiting for its tiny occupant to come and reside and a closet of tiny pretties to dress her sweetness in and make her the prettiest ever seen.  This little one would be their pride and joy, a delight who would fill their home with laughter and tears of joy and sometimes sorrow to watch her grow and tumble and they would help her back up and brush off her skinned knees and soiled dress and help her get her feet once again on the ground.  Then teach her and encourage her with every new step she takes from crawling, sitting, walking, then riding her first bike, starting school and then…But not now, not this time.

I know You are God, I know You hung the stars in the sky, I know You created us and that You joined a sperm and an egg together perfectly and created the little one this couple had to say goodbye to and I want to know why?  Why, like a little child I ask and I know they too, over and over, why?

Then I remember the words of this prophet of old, Habakkuk who could see coming devastation and judgement from a Holy God…3:17-19

Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls–Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, And He will make me walk on my high hills.

How do we rejoice in sorrow and grief…especially when you have had to lay an actual part of your body down, buried, given back to the earth from whence we have come.  But because the prophet knew his Sovereign, he could make a choice to look to the Father, the Jehovah Shalom, and rejoice in him.  He will be their strength and they can take this still moment of sorrow and allow their God to heal their wounded, grieving hearts.  They will not forget His goodness to them and they will come to that place where one willingly admits that You give and take away, but my heart will choose to say, blessed be your name, Jesus.


The God of All Comfort…

Storms Brewing
Storm’s A Brewing


Life is sure difficult today and maybe you agree. God reminds us that we are to bring encouragement to those who are having hard days. Whether it is depression, loss/grief, illness or how about uncertainty for the future, your experiences in life are partially intended to bring comfort to those in need.

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These verses from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV) spell it out for us:

2 Cor 1.3-4

As God brings hurting people through my pathway, I am burdened to pray for them and hopefully bring words of comfort to their seemingly hopeless situations.  Oh to be the hands and feet of Jesus!Line Break

How about you?  Are you feeling overwhelmed with life today?  Only God can make a way where there seems to be no way… If I can pray for you, please let me know!  Don’t let the heaviness of your situation weigh you down, our burdens are meant to be shared. Prayer is available here!