Tag Archives: Hopelessness

Forever and Ever…Amen

SorrowfulDo you believe that God can work in the hard stuff life doles out? I have lived it and maybe you as well. Please stop by where I am guest posting at Holly Barrett’s Testimony Tuesday” to share the goodness of the Lord! He will meet us when we ask.

This post was featured at Holly Barrett’s Testimony Tuesday as a guest blog on April 14, 2015 with that link no longer available.

It was a year…a year when many issues came to the surface and I was forced to take a serious look at myself and my marriage covenant. I felt hopeless, bound to a yucky body, a yucky marriage and a difficult son. To be perfectly honest, I wanted out of it all and I began to ponder the simplicity of just calling it quits on life.

When I was just an early teen in NYC, I couldn’t handle life then either and being in an unstable state of mind I downed my mom’s Valium and hoped to never wake up…but I did. I was rescued only to find out that I couldn’t escape my problems by just taking pills, or drugs, or alcohol or by delving into relationships. I just wanted to be loved!

But this time it was different. I was in my early forties, I was a Christian woman and had been for about 13 years but I was also disillusioned with life and my ‘faith’. Somehow I was deceived in my looking for love in all the wrong places I thought all these peripherals could make life liveable. A man who was stable, who could help me with my wild and crazy kids, a new home, a satisfying job in Christian radio and friends, I finally had some friends!

I had been recently hired at our local Christian radio station for full-time work as a bookkeeper and being the “Words of Affirmation” girl that I am, I was getting the strokes. Kimberly, you are doing a great job! Keep up the great work. You see, we had lost our manager from a tragic accident the previous fall and jobs were shifted around allowing me to begin full-time work.

Going to work became my escape. I could escape the craziness of home life that involved an angry husband, teenagers with one being extremely problematic.

At home I began to hate who I was becoming. I had started perimenopause and if you have ever been there you know exactly what I’m talking about…it stinks! I hated what my body was doing putting on excessive amounts of weight and water retention. I didn’t want anything to do with being intimate with my husband which sure didn’t help anything! We were all a mess! If either of us had uttered leaving, it wouldn’t have taken much for one of us to just go!

One night on my way home from working late (learning curve), I knew I would be hollered at for a late supper and who’s going to run kids to where and pickup whom…yup, I could just hear it. As I pulled my car in the garage. A song came on that broke my heart, reminding me of who is in control and beckoning me to remember my covenant. I clung to my steering wheel with tears running all over and listened…God was speaking to me through the words of John Starnes song, “I Plead the Blood”.

I remembered my covenant and I plead the blood over my family and home asking the Lord to help me be true to my words that I would never, ever again divorce! And He did just that…as I  prayed that the Lord would my husband joy and give me a love for him that had waned through years of disappointments.

Soon after I heard the Lord prompt me to pray for my guys (husband and two sons, one of whom was then in a locked treatment facility) to go to Promise Keepers in Minneapolis. So I did and my husband and oldest were able to go! It was at this juncture in his life that he recommitted his life to the Lord!

Friends, things did begin to gradually change. My husband does smile and laugh and can be joy-filled at times. He has become a man of God who is growing closer and closer to the Lord and to me. As for me, I would say that I love him more than I ever have! And we will celebrate 29 years in October!

I know my story isn’t like yours, but I do know that my God is the same as yours. I am not going to try to visit your scenario and tell you what to do. I am however going to remind you that He never changes and that He can be trusted with whatever impossibility we are willing to give to Him.

In Matthew 6:33 we are reminded of where to turn in our times of need. And in Philippians 4:6,7 we are instructed to be anxious for nothing, to pray about everything, and to be thankful in all things. When we are obedient to respond his way we are filled with the peace that even passes ALL understanding! Will you trust Him?

KD cropped sqSince 1990, Kimberly Nyborg, has worked at Northern Minnesota’s Christian radio station. She has served as host of a daily two hour music program for Psalm FM radio since 2004. Kimberly is involved in Women’s ministry and she speaks for various women’s events around the Midwest. She makes her home with her husband Jerry, in the “Icebox of the Nation”, International Falls, MN.

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You Are Being Watched!

Matt 516Have you pondered the fact that you have the ability to make a profound impact on the world around you (or as I like to say “in your sphere of influence”?) Seriously! I am a people observer. I love to watch people and could sit in a mall for a length of time just looking at people as they walk by. Analyzing their moves and behaviors just for fun! I know, goofy. In a similar way that is what the ‘world’ around us is doing to those who name Jesus as their Lord and Savior. They are watching us, wondering why we do what we do. Observing our reactions to situations and then making assessments based on what they perceive a Christian is supposed to do. Yikes, I’m not sure I appreciate that kind of scrutiny!

I have heard it said that our young people are not duped but can see through our sincerity or lack of it! Click To Tweet That confirms that young people are looking for the real deal. Not the Sunday morning pretenders that put their Sunday best mask on and smile. And when asked how they are doing say “great” when inside they may be dying, terribly lonely, having an affair, just gossiped about a person in the other room or who’s to know what is under the mask of deception…

When I think of young people I see them searching for Jesus with skin on! And people who are honest enough to say I need prayer. And when they are hurting I would like to think that they could come to us and ask for help. But they probably won’t because they know we are going to reprimand them and judge them instead of offering an arm around the shoulder to walk with them through their mistake riddled pain. They are looking to find a way out just like we may be, wanting peace like we do and where will we point them?

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These are some very humbling national statistics about American teenagers:

  • 1 in 3 have been drunk in the past month
  • 1 in 4 will use illegal drugs
  • 8,000 contract an STD every day
  • 1 million are pregnant
  • 750,000 get abortions each year
  • 1 in 10 have been raped
  • 9 out of 10 have seen pornography online
  • 1 of 2 are no longer virgins
  • 40% have inflicted self-injury
  • 1 in 5 have contemplated suicide
  • Over 1,500 kill themselves each year
  • 53% believe Jesus sinned
  • 83% believe truth is relative

Upon reading the above statistics and thinking about your own authenticity I want to ask you if you are willing to be transparent and vulnerable to the next generation that is giving way to the myriad of philosophies out there because they can’t really see a “Jesus” generation that works?

I adamantly proclaim that in each of our lives that Jesus either is who we are or He is not! And if He is part of your life then you and I have the responsibility to prove He is Lord in our every day living it out!

“What role will you play in reaching this profoundly lost generation?” ~Donna Partow

It will cost you something…you will have to become transparent and remove the mask of pretend!

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Disappointments in Life…

Are there times in your life when you thought things would turn out so much differently than they have?  Times that have left you feeling a bit hollow inside and terribly disappointed? Like when a child grows up and grows away from the Lord instead of toward Him, or your dreams of being a missionary went south because for whatever reason be it money or relationship it became the wrong timing?  How about that first love that set your dreams on fire and then after a time the relationship fizzled and instead of fulfilling your dreams they brought about disappointments. And maybe it was the perfect job that you have waited for with all the amenities you could hope for and you were certain you had all the qualifications but you didn’t make the final round and someone else stepped into the position you longed for. 

Sometimes there are disappointments that totally change the course of your life.  That familiar saying “It just isn’t fair” can light upon you and pull you right down into the pit. Friend, I want you to know something and it isn’t anything new or profound but, it is truth and that is that God, in spite of our tendency to walk our own way, really is in control. Kind of like we are the vehicle but the Lord is our steering wheel.  Oh, I know He really does allow us to do our own thing, because He loves us so much!  He wants us to love Him back without restraints and of our own accord.  After all, how would it feel if your children only returned your affection because they were supposed too or your spouse because you had to ask? 

So what do we do with the disappointments in life?  We all have them to one degree or another and really, how we respond to those disappointments determines whether we will move forward or lag behind.  I would have to believe that like me you want to soar and draw closer and closer to the Lord.  Your reaction to these realities sets the course for the next leg of your life journey. 

Our journey in Christ takes the focus off of us and puts it on Him!  Every single thing that happens to us must glorify the Father.  I love that verse in Matthew 5:16  that says we are to let our light so shine before men that they would see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven.  And just for fun here it is in the Message paraphrase:

Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. 

When the disappointments come, those around us need to see how we handle them because after all there are plenty enough to go around in everyone’s life!  I recently received another hit and the rug was pulled out from under my feet.  Yes, for a moment I fell and hurt myself and briefly slipped into the pit of despair, but…I have a circle of friends that let me know that they care and they encircled me and prayed for me.  I am slowly getting back up on my feet again.  I hate when this happens but it does and there isn’t a one of us who doesn’t know what if feels like.   

I would like to give you some things to think about when your dark moment comes.

  • Don’t keep it hidden!  Go to your trusted prayer partners and yes, make yourself vulnerable and share just how upset you are and let them minister to you!
  • Ponder and pray when you hear a word for you even if it isn’t necessarily comfortable.  God will provide the comfort because He is the God of all comfort!
  • Set your face like flint not to revisit those debilitating emotions but focus on the truth! You will not move ahead until you do and the more often you revisit the deeper the pit gets.
  • Remember, God is your healer and He wants to bring you gently back to the firm ground you were on before.  Forgiveness is the key to moving forward and friend, I know just how difficult this one is but I also have tasted the sweetness when the enemy of our soul is defeated and forgiveness cuts the chains of our heart loose.
  • Do not get comfortable in the pain of your emotional battle.  God has given us the tools to get out of the pit.

The battle is in our minds and here is the Scripture that can help us work through the enemy’s ‘mosh pit’:

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…”2 Corinthians 10:5

Unless we get our minds set on the truth we will become wounded as we are banged around by the lies and untruth that the enemy wants to use to render us useless to our Father.  Draw the line in the sand and do not go there.  If you have, get yourself in the truth of the Word and let that truth bath and comfort you and bring healing to your mind, body and soul! 

Father, too many times I have seen how ineffective I become when the enemy comes in like a flood!  But I am also so thankful to know I don’t have to go it alone and that In Your truth I am able to raise the standard that defeats the enemy of my soul.  You have provided brothers and sisters in Christ who thankfully become my help in times of trouble. Thank You for Your love for me and for gently picking me up when I become Your wounded warrior.  I choose to walk in the truth today, in Jesus’ name. 

Flat Lined Faith…

When tragedy strikes, many of us tend to feel hopeless!  If there is an accident or an unexpected report from the doctor, the discovery that one of your loved ones is living contrary to how you reared him or, maybe, just that the 650 foot broadcasting tower and antenna fell to the ground early one Sunday morning,  what would your response be?

hebrews-11-1I went to work (Psalm FM Radio Station in International Falls) one Sunday morning to record our weather for the day. Our main signal was off.  In a rural setting, this can happen more often than we would prefer for a variety of reasons.  However, we also broadcast from Hibbing, so I still had to finish the job.  My  boss had shown us how to manually turn on the transmitter remotely, but I could not get the job done.  Needless to say, I had to call him.  I try not to do this, especially early on a Sunday morning.   He said he would take care of it.  I finished my task and returned home to get ready for church.  The boss and I were both doing worship at church and I hoped, of course, that it would be an easy fix.  Sometimes a twenty minute drive to flip a breaker switch is all that is required.DSCF1883

As I was readying myself, the phone rang and it was the boss with an uneasy tone, saying the antenna was down.  Silly me, I said, “Oh no, you couldn’t get it up and running?”  His reply was, “No, the antenna is lying on the ground in a heap…I will not be at church.”

I cannot fully relay what happened next but I was on the floor weeping and wondering what happened and wondering why God would allow this to happen.   This is our main signal that goes south to west and then north, then east in a 100 mile sweep!  What in the world were we going to do with over half of our listening area unable to hear us and our annual fund raiser just three weeks away?  God, why?

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Many people have experienced this rather ‘hit you out of nowhere’ emotion and for a period of time your faith ‘flat-lines’ like on the monitor in a hospital ER room when the heartbeat quits.  You feel devastated, very hopeless!  It is as if there will be no tomorrow for that situation.

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I continued to finish up in the bathroom, since I was a mess after wailing and crying out to God, feeling extremely weak and uncertain about the future of our station.  God has sustained this ministry for just about 30 years.  He has allowed it to grow in strength and distance through the addition of another station and more translators.  Plans for signal improvements and upgrades were continuing, so why now, Lord?  Maybe the season was completed and God was going to allow something completely different to take place.  Oh, the uncertainty that ran through my mind that morning!

I memorize Scripture by writing it out on a card and putting it on my bathroom mirror.  I had two cards going and had the verses memorized for a time, but for whatever reason the cards had not yet been replaced.  They are tucked securely between the mirror and its frame so they do not ever fall out.  Well, that morning one literally jumped out at me and, as I picked it up, I once again read Ephesians 3:20:

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us…”

For those of you who appreciate the Message paraphrase, it reads, “God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!  He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”

I cannot  tell you how this once again got the heartbeat of my faith back on the lifeline!  I began to rethink this incident by putting into practice what I believe about my God!  He is sovereign and always aware of those things that happen in each of our lives.  Nothing passes by His loving hands; and my responsibility is to hold on and trust He will reveal Himself in our tragedy, but in His perfect time!

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If you are in that place where you cannot see God’s hand in your circumstances, I want you to know that as far as His part is concerned, nothing has changed! He is as He always is, present in your midst!  You can trust in His omnipresence to always be lovingly aware of your difficult place.  I am choosing to believe in God’s faithfulness in this situation.  I encourage you, as well, to stick to the truth of Who God is and trust that His desire is always for your best and His glory!

At Psalm FM, we are now looking with anticipation to what it is  that will improve our tower signal.  We can even now say, “Thank You, Father, for allowing those powerful storm cells to rip through Loman and bring down that tower.”  God even preserved our new building! We are thankful and trusting Him in all things! Will you?

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Look close to see our brand new 600 ft tower in the distance!

 

The God of All Comfort…

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Storm’s A Brewing

 

Life is sure difficult today and maybe you agree. God reminds us that we are to bring encouragement to those who are having hard days. Whether it is depression, loss/grief, illness or how about uncertainty for the future, your experiences in life are partially intended to bring comfort to those in need.

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These verses from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV) spell it out for us:

2 Cor 1.3-4

As God brings hurting people through my pathway, I am burdened to pray for them and hopefully bring words of comfort to their seemingly hopeless situations.  Oh to be the hands and feet of Jesus!Line Break

How about you?  Are you feeling overwhelmed with life today?  Only God can make a way where there seems to be no way… If I can pray for you, please let me know!  Don’t let the heaviness of your situation weigh you down, our burdens are meant to be shared. Prayer is available here!