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Running the Race

Who’s to know if Paul was an athlete (unlikely?) or a wanna be or had he been an observer to the Roman Olympics? When you read the descriptions of this man we don’t really find our mind wandering to pictures of a buff, athletic form of a man. On the contrary, we read stuff like that he was a tent maker (Acts 18:3). So he sat and sewed tents and people who sit a lot…well you get my drift. No real physical prep going on there. He was raised at the feet of the famous Jewish teacher, Gamaliel which meant hours of pouring over the Pentateuch, learning all of the Scriptures. Paul was particularly known for his knowledge and obedience of the Mosaic law. I see a picture of a man who did much reading and reciting. Now you can recite on the run but…highly improbable in his day with no ipods and such with the recorded Word drumming in his ear either. In 1 Corinthians 2:1,3 we see mentioned that Paul’s inadequacies include not being an excellent orator and being weakened in his flesh. So how interesting it is that he draws a spiritual parallel of the life of faith to one of a physical race.  

Let’s look at a few verses from 1 Corinthians 9

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? :24

The exhortation is to run in such a way as you would as if you were in a competition. He has compared this journey to a marathon! Life can surely be a long one at that. Then he continues on to tell us that we have to exercise self-control throughout this marathon. 

Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. :25

Wow, now he is really hitting home. Oh how I struggle with the speaking before thinking it through thing. Or the doing before praying thing. Yet I know that this is where the Lord completely shows me that I can save many steps by checking in with Him first! Okay, I am seeing the picture here. (How we need our coach!) Now on to the prize thing. We are not running this race to add a trophy or another trophy to our display case. No, this one is a forever, in full living color kind of a trophy that is too big for my little pea-sized brain to imagine. For an eternity with my Father is just too big to put to words, but this is it, this is the goal. And I just can’t afford to get sidetracked with the minuscule issues of life (that see overwhelmingly large at the time) that the enemy of my soul uses to pull me off course. You know, sidetracked by disappointments (in myself or others), relationship issues or every little stinky thing that comes along to persuade me to stop for just a while till I get this thing ironed out. (That one just cost me three miles!) 

Now Paul gets into the ring and he really puts purpose to each swing, jab and punch: 

I run is such a way as not without aim, I box in such a way as not beating the air; :26

So I can then ask myself, why am I doing this anyway? What is it all about that I should go through all the rigorous training, denying and pushing myself beyond my capabilities anyway? Have I really got the end in mind? This is a good time to reflect and make sure I fully comprehend what it is all about. And is it really all about me and my goals anyway? Or is there a bigger picture here than me getting to the finish line. I think we all would adamantly agree that it is! I was brought to the Scripture in 2 Peter 3:9 that tells us that God desires that no man would perish and that all would come to repentance. I know that I repeat this a lot but here we go again. We get saved and on our way but then it is about those out there who also need to know the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ before it is too late. The hurting out there need to know that there is a God who is big enough to heal their pain and wipe their tears and bring peace to their calamity. To bring salvation to their souls! 

So here we go with the last verse that is going to really drive it home as I wrap my brain around the fact that Paul was a spiritual athlete! 

but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. :27

True confession time. I have failed miserably at times when it comes to doing the right thing. Whether it’s denying my appetite or exercising, I am not a very disciplined person. I want to be but…being human and on this side of glory I will be prone to fail at making my goals. I am however a bit better than I was if that counts for anything. But this is the verse that really bites. “…so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” Ouch! In consideration of being a Christian life coach, you know, you attempt to tell others how to walk the walk and then you model the way…and my biggest fear is in failing to be the example. However, there is a viable solution to “down time”. We do not have to be caught in the devils snare dwelling on thoughts that tell us that we will never be good enough to serve the King because we keep messing up! 

Bob Carlisle sings a song called “We Fall Down” that really brings this struggle to light. I hope you will take the opportunity to listen and let me know how you receive what he sings. Friends, we are going to stumble and it may throw us off course for a time (hopefully not too long) but the thing is we must get back up and continue on pursuing the race set before us. My life verse really solidifies the entire message here.  

I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet, but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead; I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14

 And that’s it. I am not disqualified if I press on. When I see the winners of those marathon races as they hit the finish ribbons, they ain’t very pretty and they look like they are in mega pain to boot but they made it. I too will get weary and worn but…it is going to be well worth it at the end when I hear my Abba say “Well done!” 

Friend, whatever you do, don’t loose heart. Let’s keep pressing on, you see over there, up ahead, we are getting closer! 

Father, I see that it is all for You that I am even alive. Thank you for loving me and making a way for me to be reconcile to You through Your Son, Jesus. I just ask that You help me up when I stumble and my knees are pretty scuffed up from tripping but I will not give up. You have called me to dance for You and I am going to give You my best. Use me Lord as You see fit for I am excited to see that the fields are white unto harvest and that Your return is very soon. Let me be part of the the homecoming in Jesus’ Name!

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And When I Am Old I Will…

Sudden realities are interesting to say the least. I’m certain that I’m not the only one who reflects and then wonders what’s next on the journey of life. But what I didn’t expect in my speculating was a reversal of the norm, because even today at my age I often wonder what I’m going to do when I grow up. No, I took a very new and different road this time. One I had never been on before. I had an epiphany and a reality check regarding my possible time left on this earth as we know it today. 

Far be it from me to be concerned or fearful of aging and growing old. After all, many things are so much better with age, cheese, wine, and what about those things we call classics? Worth a bundle today! And look what the Word has to say about growing old, I’ve read those verses and think someday, I will be wise and have beautiful snow white hair, like it says in Proverbs 16:31,

“A gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness.” 

Well my pondering was a mixed bag of coulda, woulda, shoulda’s and now…what remains? I don’t mean to say that I was crying the blues and feeling all was lost but…there was definitely a cap on what was once ‘the sky’s the limit.’ Do you know where I’m going here? Some of you will of course identify immediately–because you have experienced what I am referring to–but some of you are going to think, what in the world is she talking about! It is for you that I will explain. For the first time I pondered what the finish line was going to look like. And the reality that oh my, there really is not a whole lot of time left and how can I now make the time that is left really count for Christ’s sake? Remember the time when you thought that 25 or 30 years was a really long time? Not anymore. (I think that means that I have crossed over.) 

I remember hearing someone on the news recently mention how Ann Graham Lotz, the famous preacher’s daughter, say that should she live out a normal life (she was 60 at the time) that she expects to see the return of Jesus Christ. Wow, what a statement to make. This is quite remarkable, even as we see the face of America “change” it certainly seems as though we are witnessing first hand the set up for the final round. After all, look what it says in Matthew 24:6:

“You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars.
See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.“ 

Don’t you appreciate the part of the verse that says to see that we are not frightened? It indeed isn’t the end but I think we are on the precipice, now able to begin to peak over the top and view the valley of what’s ahead.

So all this to say to those of you who still think that 20 to 30 years is forever a long ways off, for now it is. But let me add that even so, Christ could return at any time now. And that being said, have we really given our all for Him? Have we taken up the commission to follow after Him and to be the salt and light around us? Maximizing the opportunities that He sends our way? Or do we just look at what we have and think thank God I am where I am and I sure hope those others can make it. What soul is out there that needs to have extended to them–through you–Jesus’ hands and feet? I really like Casting Crowns’ song “If We Are the Body”

 It just says it so succinctly, wouldn’t you agree?

So the next time you think to yourself ah, that is way down the road, just remember that every year that now ticks by is like counting backwards, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20…and friends, there are a whole lot of people out there who do not have a clue. Don’t wait until you retire to do a mission outreach project. Why not make your neighborhood your “mission” outreach? Do you know just how many people out there need to hear a kind word because their life is in a shambles? Or, how about those children who desperately need a positive influence in their life? Believe me, I am speaking to myself too. Surely there is a way to make a difference in your sphere of influence. And it doesn’t have to be a BIG thing. Just tell someone the difference that Christ has made in your life. It might just be God’s perfect timing as you provide a solution to their pain, frustration or confusion!

Let’s make it count! My life verse is from Philippians 3:13,14

“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” 

I see the goal and it’s just ahead…

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Out of the Desert…

I have had my dry times–spiritually speaking–where it seems as though I am crawling  through molasses. Have you ever experienced that? Everything is just as it always is and I then begin to sense the growing barrenness in my life. That old feeling of walking alone and out of sync with the flow. Everyone else seems to be alive and excited to be serving God but for some reason, I feel blah spiritually!Those times have been too often and frankly I do not like being there. It is a pathway that is weighty and bordering on sorrow and dare I say depression? 

I have never been in a sand dessert but for a time I did live in the northern part of New Mexico. It is not quite the same but there are some similarities with the hot dry, summers. In a sand desert, there is some life but not a bustling flurry of activity as in a thriving forest. It is simply too hot and dry.This ugly cactus plant of mine is rather similar to the plants that grow in the desert. It tends to thrive on very little water and it is so ugly that I almost wish it would die so I could get rid of it. I think it is about 45 years old and as you can see it doesn’t get huge. What grows (very slowly I might add) are these ugly long fronds or whatever you call them with their prickly little edges (although not like the usual cacti with its thorns.) It sits rather lopsided in my pot and obstructs my husbands view of the television if I don’t turn it around the other way. 

My dry times can be just like that old cactus, dry, barren, lonely and fruitless. It really is a terrible place to be. I am not even nice to be around because I have no joy, motivation or energy. I just want to hang it up. Interestingly, it even causes those that I am around to get cranky, like my husband. My hard places don’t just effect me, they also have an impact on those around me. My co-workers know when Kimberly Dawn is going through rough times because I am usually a pretty joy-filled person. (Praise God!) But not with the weight of the world on my shoulders, pressing me down! Or a mind preoccupied with relationships gone awry. 

However, it is in these valleys where my sorrow is caused by my own poor choices. If you are a relational person like me, you know how important people are in your life, you need them to interact with and fellowship with and just to enjoy life with. Thank you Lord for creating fellowship with one another. But then a quirky communication takes place and an offense comes along and suddenly the joy has been robbed. I have reacted by making provision for the flesh, and harbor bitterness or jealousy in my heart and wham, down I go and it is time to linger in the desert for a few rounds about the mountain. My thoughts are possessed with wrong thinking. My reactions are very “me” centered around all my thoughts and hurt feelings. Woe is me, they don’t understand, what about my feelings on the issue and don’t I have a “right” to feel the way I do? Just look how they have hurt me! It is amazing what we will try to justify! 

When I go to bed at night, I want sweet thoughts and pleasurable memories of my day or week. I want to reflect on the goodness of the Lord and to be able to see His hand in motion throughout my day. If I am in the midst of a desert experience I can’t see any of that, just poor, miserable me. If I dwell too long in that place I become dryer, harder and more and more lifeless and bitter in my own defense. What an icky place to be! 

How in the world do I come to an end of my desert journey? Thanks be to God for the power of the Holy Spirit in spite of quenching His Spirit with my “me-ness” mentality. Something jogs my heart and I begin to see that I am the problem not the other party. I’m the one who is holding on to the bitterness, unforgiveness, anger and resentment because all I can see is how mistreated I have been. God’s Word has sooo…much to say about the above list of excuses we use to stay in our desert-land: 

This Scripture from Matthew 5:23,24 really sheds a spotlight on relational issues out of sync:

So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

I am believing that my offering to God is not going to amount to anything with resentment at the root of my heart. And I have worshiped and wondered why I couldn’t sense His presence and wondered why He seemed so distant from me. 

From Romans 13:14 Paul tells,

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

And this includes along with all sorts of immoralities, strife and envy.  And once again from Mark 12:25

But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.

You have to admit that forgiveness is a huge issue in God’s eyes. I guess that means that I better make it a priority also. God says 7 times 70 and that if I cannot forgive then I too will not be forgiven. God forbid I don’t get a grasp on this one! So, what is my excuse now? Can I really justify my situation any longer? I don’t think so! Okay Holy Spirit, show me how to get myself to the watering hole ’cause I am so parched and desperately longing for Your presence once again. 

You see, with enough sunlight and just the right amount of water, that ugly old cactus does an amazing thing every once in a while. It unpredictably blooms. Sometimes only one or two but these huge gorgeous blooms come out of the most unlikely places. And like that blooming cactus, I too need adequate time in the “Son” so that I can produce fruit that will please my Father and bless others.  

How’s your heart today? Are you filled with bitterness and anger? Unforgiveness and resentments? The Lord would have us walking in the fruit of the Spirit which is right where I need to be so I want will exhibit those attributes toward others. It is through a victorious life that this fruit grows and is used to show others the love of Christ.

 Galatians 5:22,23

But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.

Father, will You show me my unpleasantness and its root? I don’t want to be there anymore. I want the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in my life so that when others look at my life they see You. Help me to root out all the negative things like anger, resentment, bitterness, envy and strife those things that keep me in bondage. Set me free and even if I need to go to someone for forgiveness will You give me the grace to humble myself and approach that one so that we might be restored to fellowship with one another and with You? I trust that You will work out all the details of this in my life and that You will receive all the glory, honor and praise due Your Name. I will lean on Your promises and trust this to be resolved in Your perfect timing. Restore me Lord to Your presence and fill me with Your sweet Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

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Pleasing God or Man…Where do You Stand?

I want to look at a couple of things that can really impact my effectiveness for Christ.  

  • If I am tuning in to what God’s will is for my life, then I am going to have to know His voice and respond in obedience when He calls.
  • By getting to know and recognize His voice I should be able to detect when the enemy comes along to pull me off track.

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

John 10:27

Am I willing to forego pleasing men to be in the will of my Father? 

There are times it seems that so many things pull and vie for my attention and all I really want to do is what my Father has called me to do.  But, there is this voice over here that says how good I might be at that task or asking me if I could serve on this committee; and there was that burning desire in my heart to take up that cause so near and dear to me.  Oh, there are so many things that are calling my name. But then there are also the negative voices that say you are crazy if you think that you can do that or go there, or you are so unqualified to be even thinking of doing that job. But, I just want to please my Father. 

God can call us to do some pretty out-of-the-box things that people sometimes do not see as ‘God’ things. How would you respond to a friend who decides to move to the inner city to minister with a group of like-minded folks who see the lost and hopeless as another facet of God’s treasure? I don’t just mean a two week stint, I mean until further notice thiswill be the residency of that friend and his/her family? You might respond by saying that they are just too radical and throw all the ‘what if’s’ at them.  Would you try to convince them that they should not be thinking of doing such a crazy thing after all consider your family? And you might fire right off with whether they were really certain that it was God’s voice that they were responding to, right? These do seem to be pretty valid questions! 

I absolutely love when I run into or hear of someone who is so sold out and convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are doing just what God has called them to do, radical or not.These are people who care about one thing and that is being obedient to their God-calling! The coolest part of this is that amazing things can happen when we are obedient to our calling. 

The flip side of this is when we succumb to the nay-sayers that keep us from taking that step forward instead consider man’s opinion over God’s calling, even if we know we are capable. On the other hand, you may appear to be totally unqualified according to man’s standards and yet God calls you in spite of your lack of qualifications and you do something you never imagined that you could do. 

This happened to me a few years ago when our church lost our worship arts director.  She was a gem that the Lord brought to us to usher in contemporary worship. Our church decided to hold two services, one traditional and one contemporary. Her husband, after three years with us was called to serve at a different church and we were left without our worship arts director.  She had asked me several times if I were interested but I just never believed I was qualified. I have minimal musical training but I love to worship. That was all I had to go on. After much persuasion and prayer I finally succumbed to the request and really gave it my best for a year. Friends, emotionally, it was one of the most difficult years I have ever had, I believe, primarily, because I allowed the varying comments of too many to cause me to doubt that I was doing what I was called to do. This affected the team, who lost confidence in me and began to resist my direction. It was a horrendous year emotionally and I have often wondered if I became too concerned with making the team members happy, or did I just not belong in that position? After all I was only there until someone came on board who was a ‘true’ director? I prayed and sought the Lord big time! I love the element that worship brings to the Sunday service and I love to worship, and I so wanted this to work out of my worshiper’s heart, but I leaned more on people’s varied opinions instead of my Father’s direction. I remember screaming out loud one morning, “Lord, I just want to please You!”  Well, circumstances at home would present a difficult summer ahead and I resigned the position after a year to be available to my mother who spends the summer with us. God knew I would not have the time required for the job and that I would be needed at home and frankly, it was a huge relief! 

At the radio station where I work, we run into so many opinions from our listeners and music is the subject that causes the most dissension. Some years back, we had a difficult time when we clearly felt the Lord was calling us to change our music emphasis to primarily praise and worship. We were headed for a top 40 Inspo format and three of us distinctly heard the calling from the Lord to open the music format up to praise and worship. Yes, it was different and yes, most stations were not going in that direction. Our calling was to raise a canopy of praise over northern Minnesota and Northwestern Ontario. We were called to help usher in the presence of the Lord in a very hardened and dark region. We definitely ruffled feathers and  it would have been much easier to try to flex to fit the opinion of many listeners. But the risk in compromise is that you lose sight of your calling for the ministry and what it is that God wants to do. We have to remember our focus, our calling, our purpose and that God, the creator of the universe, has positioned us to accomplish His purposes and His voice is really the voice we need to be listening to, not the opinions of hundreds of people who may or may not know what that calling is. Yes, it is difficult and people can be hurt or upset if when we do not consider their opinions. 

So why is it so…hard to move in God’s direction? Most of us want to be loved and accepted and I do not know anyone who likes rejection, but if you are doing what you are called to do you very likely will take some heat for choosing to please God instead of man. But, how precious are the words of our Father as we read of the parable of the servants who tended to their master’s business while he was off in another country!

Matthew 25: 20-21  “So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, ‘Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.’  His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’”

Father, I love You so much and I truly want to ‘dance’ for You and serve You with all my heart.  But sometimes I hear voices that cause me to second guess whether I am doing the right thing.I am asking that You help me to know You more and to recognize Your voice when You call me to do Your will. I so want to hear you say well done, Kimberly; you have served Me well…enter into the joy of your Lord!”  Your word says in Proverbs 16:7 that “When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”  The rewards for walking in obedience to Your calling are well worth the difficulty that can come when we are a God pleaser!  Thank you for giving me the courage to press on for Christ’ sake and in His name!

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A Sacrifice of Praise

“I really don’t want to go there!”

“What’s to praise in this situation?”

“You’ve got to be kidding; worship when I feel the way I do?”

Have you ever been at that place where you were devastated by a situation, at the height of frustration and wondering how will you ever get turned around from thinking there is no hope, and will the end of a situation ever come? I don’t know about you, but I don’t like conflict and I don’t like when things get messy because I can’t see the way out while being in the thick of it.

When I’m frustrated and put out, my first response has been to build a wall and gather my defenses. But God has shown me over the past few years that it is out of my insecurities that I respond that way when hurt or devastated. After all, who wants to admit that “I” am wrong when it’s easier to say “they” are wrong? I don’t want to admit that I am insecure.Nyborg 0037

God began to gently show me a few things about myself a few years back that He has used to teach me and grow me up a bit. But I had to get to that place where I was willing to look inwardly at the messy stuff in my heart. When we give ourselves over to His redeeming work, He then has permission to start messing with and exposing things that are deficits and have taken up residence for far too long in our hearts.

Worship has been a tremendous tool that God has used in my life over the past several years. As I would draw closer to Him with the desire to get to know Him more, I began to see myself for who I really was. As I pulled in closer to God, I saw His majesty and my yucky, messy self–just like that passage I love in Isaiah 6 where Isaiah gets the vision of God seated on the throne. Isaiah saw how unclean and sinful he really was.

Isaiah 6:5 (The Message paraphrase) reads, “I said, ‘Doom! It’s Doomsday! I’m as good as dead! Every word I’ve ever spoken is tainted–blasphemous even!  And the people I live with talk the same way, using words that corrupt and desecrate. And here I’ve looked God in the face! The King!’”

It was a rude awakening, for sure, and that gentle revealing helped me see that the root of insecurity came from not really understanding the holiness of the God I chose to serve or my identity in Jesus Christ. You cannot walk a certain way if you do not understand or know that way. Those were some tough realizations. But then I began to sense a shift taking place in my heart as I saw myself for who I really was and then understood that Christ came to change all of the old into the new. We can have a whole lot of knowledge but never apply it.  A lot of good that does! I could see how I had become one of those weak women that Timothy talks about in 2 Timothy 3:7 “always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.” To put it mildly, I didn’t like what I saw but was now ready to do something about it.

Sacrifice –– it is a big word with a meaning that is sometimes glossed over. It is the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable. So is it possible that relinquishing my old behavior in exchange for His peace could be seen as my sacrifice of praise? Would I be willing to lay down my old self and offer up that praise offering, even my old, comfortable self?

Hebrews 13:15 says “Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name.”

Is there anything stirring within your heart that needs a readjustment? If you sense discontentment then it is time to draw near to the heart of the Perfect One who will show you what needs to be offered up in exchange for something so much better!

It only takes a glimpse of the Holy One to see yourself as you really are, desperately in need of a Savior. As I glance back at that time in my life, I can surely praise His name for allowing me to be uncovered to discover that I had to let go of who I was and embrace Christ in me, the hope of glory. The “new” that is growing in me helps me to see just how great He really is. With excitement I can sing, “To God be the glory, great things He has done.” (and continues to do!)

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Generational Sins

Proud parents are continuously acknowledging–from the moment of birth–just how much their children look like either mom or dad.  They might see characteristics of grandma and grandpa too, such as the nose, eyes, forehead or mouth.  As the

Grannie and her Grandson Isaac
Grannie and her Grandson Isaac

children grow and develop, the opportunity may arise to begin to see familiar temperaments as well.  They may be positive or they could be negative.  You will hear comments such as “look at her, she is such a girly girl, just like her mom” or maybe “boy, has he got a stubborn streak, just like his dad.”  It is inevitable that we will take on similar looks and characteristics as genetic dispositions.  If only it was just the positive, good qualities that were evident, unfortunately that is not always so. 

If we look at this a bit deeper, we can also see how it is possible to “inherit” those good and bad tendencies.  Let me give you an example from my own life.  Divorce is not a pleasant thing to think about and go through.  Unfortunately in my family it is a prevalent occurrence. Not only has my mom been divorced twice but my grandmother once.  I recently had it pointed out that my great grandmother had been divorced three times!  That was extremely unusual and frowned upon in that day.  Sadly, I too have also gone through a divorce.  Now as a Christian, it makes me sorrowful and guarded to know that my three children could have the ‘tendency’ to fall into this unfortunate pattern and as a matter of fact one of my children has already succumbed to the divorce solution.  It is interesting yet sad that my father too was also divorced twice.  Therein that has only made for a double whammy for our family, argh! 

So how can and do we break this vicious cycle? 

God is teaching me many things right now and for the most part He is showing me how to learn to be dependent upon and put my trust in Him.  I only bring this up because my “independent” nature has gotten me into so much trouble through the years!  The world tells us that independence is good and I really do believe there can be a positive side to it.  But God calls us to lay down our independent spirit and to take up complete dependency upon Him. Generationally speaking, our family has a problem with that.  We have had to be survivors and have done just the opposite of what the Word tells us in Proverbs 3:5-8

“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.  In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil.  It shall be health to your nerves and sinews, and marrow and moistening to your bones.”  (Amplified version)

It is so ironic that God includes the healthful benefits of our being dependent upon Him!  (The first thing I thought of when I read the ‘moistening to your bones’ section was how arthritis is deterioration of our joint cushioning and once again, our family as they age tend to develop this condition!)  I am diligently learning to work through and break the habit of leaning on Kimberly Dawn’s understanding and lack of wisdom! 

The key focus here is that–while it is obvious that not everything we inherit is bad–there are or can be some debilitating ‘bends’ or ‘tendencies’ that affect our living the abundant life.  Do you ever wonder why you only move forward with baby steps?  Or why you might keep doing and revisiting the same negative habit over and over?  It is possible that it could be a generational sin or tendency.  After all the Word tells us the sins of the fathers will revisit to the third and the fourth generations!  Now that is a scary thought and I am living proof that it is so.  But the good news is we do not have to stay there! 

While it is wonderful to inherit the wonderful and admirable qualities of our family and ancestors, when we are earnestly seeking God we need to allow Him to show us our short comings.  That might involve a painful look into our past.  It might be that you can recognize your stronghold as an excuse to continue to behave in an un-Christ-like way.  The old “devil made me do it” mentality just does not fly for the Spirit led, abundant life.  God really does have a better plan in mind for us and He has called us to go higher, and challenged us to a deeper level in our walk with Him.  In Romans 6:6 we find that we are no longer slaves to sin.  And that means that I really have been given the power to overcome every bad tendency–even if it goes back to the 100th generation!

1 Peter 2:9,10 (NASB)

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy but now you have received mercy.”

Abba Father, I want others to see You in my life.  I want them to see the difference You have made in me.  It is because of You that I am alive!  With all that You have brought me through and healed me from I can publicly rejoice and declare Your faithfulness to me and to my next generations.  I am not who I used to be because Your love broke through the darkness that once bound me and caused me much pain.  Let me continue to make myself available to Your refining fire then others will see how truly marvelous and in love with Your children that You are.  I rejoice and praise You as I walk in Your marvelous light.

For a look at another stumbling block visit Blocked Goals.

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Is There a Prodigal in Your Life?

Years ago when my youngest (troubled) son was in a locked facility to get help (he was an unhealthy hazard to himself and others), I was sharing my heart with Amy Shreve the night after a concert here in I-Falls.  I was so grieved for this son who has had problems since fighting me in the womb!  It is true!  Too many heartaches and broken promises that he would straighten up go right which all never amounted to success.  This mother’s heart hurt so badly to see him fail time and time again.  Not to mention the stress it put on my marriage.  How easy it can be to place blame!  It’s my fault, the father’s fault, the stepfather’s fault, everybody else’s fault but no owning up to their own.  Now living the dysfunctional life I have lived has only helped me take on unnecessary blame for a whole host of things that were only partially my fault as I truly was doing the best I knew how.

I believe that we are only responsible for the situations that we directly cause and not the speculative ones (if only you…)  If I steal something, I am at fault, not the person who doesn’t lock his door to keep a thief out.  If onlys are pure speculation but we can really let ourselves get buried under them if we are not wise.  Stuff happens, we make mistakes, acknowledge them, confess them and ask forgiveness of those we have wronged and move on.  How sad when we become buried under guilt and condemnation that really isn’t ours to assume provided we have responded correctly like mentioned above. We can become overwhelmed with false guilt.

Prodigals are used by God to help us look at the truth in our own situations. Looking

By lat454205 / Lisa
Hope By lat454205 / Lisa

back I can now see that there are things that could have been handled differently and with a whole lot more unconditional love.  But then the child has a responsibility also.  They become runners.  Runners from the truth, their pain and anything that gets uncomfortably close to their emotions.  They need help to see that their poor choices are what they need to own up to.  I am responsible for my choices and my children for theirs, my spouse His, etc.  It is a dynamic that I just don’t know how people without the Lord survive and many don’t.

I have attached a link to an Oswald Chamber’s reading for March 24.  This is what Amy came to show me the next morning when she had been praying for me and my prodigal.  It wasn’t even March but she came upon it and shared it with me and it has had a very profound impact on my thinking.  You see dysfunctionality breeds false guilt which therefore won’t let the wrong assume their sorrows and pain that they find themselves in.  He must increase… If God is sovereign and in control and I believe He is, then every thing, large and small is used by Him (He is fully aware of it’s happening) to grow us up and closer to Him.  According to Chambers, we can become the very thing that gets in the way of our prodigal learning (yes the hard way) his lessons.

Some of us have to learn the hard way, I know I have.  If someone comes along to smooth out the situation instead of letting the circumstantial consequences teach the lesson then that someone has interrupted the class and the lesson may be postponed until a later date and possibly a more severe situation.  The verse for the March 24th devotional was from John 3:30 and it is simple and profound, “He must increase, but I must decrease”.  Get out of the way and let God be God and the Holy Spirit do what it is that He desires to do in a wandering soul’s heart!  In modern day terms we would say quit being an enabler!  Friend, I have had to say this to myself over and over because that is what I was so used to doing to try and make things right and work!  But I was the one who continued to get in the way.

So I pray that we would not be in the way of the catylist that the Lord would use to work in the heart of that one who is walking contrary to God’s ways.

Father, I cautiously say, do it Lord, whatever it takes to break the heart of the wanderer so that they would look beyond themselves and see You!  I know You will give me the courage to believe that You hold his or her life in Your hands and that Your desire is to see them come to You and give them the peace they have been searching for.  I even say thank you for the hard lessons that I have had to learn because You used them to bring me much closer to You each time.  I not only love You Lord, but I trust You and entrust my loved ones to You, in Jesus’ Name!

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Breaking through Unforgiveness Toward Others

This is a topic that will touch every one of us because even if we happen to be one of the few who has not held bitterness or offense toward someone (come on and let’s be honest), we may have been on the receiving end of either.  It is a topic whose fallout is so detrimental that (especially lately) many books, sermons and Bible studies have been written about it.  I am convinced that of the strongholds we will examine, it is probably the most debilitating.  And God’s Word has much to say about this topic of unforgiveness.

Matthew 5:22-24 (NASB)

“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, `You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, `You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”

Wow, such strong words from Jesus!  Really, I am certain that all of us can honestly say we have—even if for a brief time—taken on an offense toward another or internalized bitterness.  In the verse above, the Word specifically says to first go and be reconciled to our brother (the one who has a beef with us) before we can even present our offering to God. Please take notice of the words in parenthesis, or the underlined scripture.  This is addressing one we know might have something against us.  To start with we are being asked to do something that is going to show obedience to God and then release that one for God to work deeply in their heart!

How about this verse from:  Mark 11:25,26 (NASB)

“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. [“But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”]

Does someone treat you unfairly?  Maybe it is quite noticeable at your job that your boss favors someone who gets byI Forgive You with “stuff” and you who maintain utmost integrity barely get noticed for your efforts.  There may be an unresolved conflict between you and another and you just keep hoping that it will go away.  It could be that someone has done something in your past that was unjustified and you keep expecting them to apologize for what they have done but they are never even willing to admit what they have done let alone apologize for the hurt. 

When I was a toddler my father left my mother to raise me alone.  He was rather irresponsible and unable to hold a job. He apparently had a serious drinking problem that consumed much of who he was.  While growing up, my father was not in the picture at all.  I believe that I saw him once as a four or five year-old and my mom said I wet the bed that night for the first time in a few years.  Argh!  I really do not remember that incident at all (we can tend to block out hurtful experiences.  What I do remember is my mother saying (even until recently) that it is too bad I could not have known my father, as he was such a great guy.  Excuse me–a great guy?  To this day I remind my sweet little momma that “great guys” do not abandon their family leaving them to live in poverty. 

I truly believe that many of the searching and longings in my life have come from not having a father’s presence in my life.  I covered and buried it deeply not realizing there were deep-seated resentments that had woven their way into my little girl’s heart. 

As God began to do a great work in me—the result of crying out to Him for a deeper journey with my heavenly Father—I was introduced to Neil Anderson’s materials Bondage Breaker and Victory Over Darkness.  For those of us who recognize that we have “stuff” in our lives that need to be addressed and relinquished, Neil Anderson has developed the “Seven Steps to Freedom”.  They are all based on our identity in Christ (such key truths to help us mature in Christ).  The steps are a time of intense prayer and acknowledgement of all the areas in one’s life that have been given over to deviant behavior which can be the result of abuse.  I am not going to go into this topic, but instances of abuses of all kinds would seem to be a good reason to never forgive a perpetrator of such heinous actions toward their victim.  It is such a serious time of deep cleansing that it can take hours to go through and because of an enlisted intercessor, things can come to the surface that have seemingly been long forgotten or buried deeply. And such it was with me in regard to how I had stuffed the anger toward my father.

The bottom line of my time going through the steps revealed to me that I needed to forgive the man who abandoned my mother and me.  I was so shocked that I had harbored that intensity of unforgiveness.  I did offer forgiveness to a man I would never see or know and the outcome was that I received instant healing because of my step of obedience to do so.  You see, he had died several years earlier, so I could not go to him personally, but this step was sufficient but necessary and God heard my heart. 

When we are angry, bitter or resentful, bad things happen to us emotionally and even physically if it continues without resolution.  Being an amateur gardener I am reminded of that miserable thing we call quack grass here in northern Minnesota.  It is so terribly persistent and I am telling you that you cannot leave a piece of the stuff behind or it resurrects itself with a vengeance.  So it is with the spirit of unforgiveness or the root of bitterness.  You must not leave a thread of it behind because it will indeed rear its ugly head once again.  I have often said that if we truly forgive someone, we will have to really dig deeply to remember what the issue was in the first place.  Have you noticed that?  You see, you have truly let go and there is no root left to thrive. 

So lets take a moment to pause and reflect on those little hurts that become big issues in our life and can even lead to things like aches and pains and, well, you fill in the blank.  If there is someone with whom you need to mend the fence, will you take the time to really pray for the situation and that person?  I have found that when I am up against a sand paper personality who rubs me the wrong way and just drives me crazy, all I have to do is to stop the mind game of the whys and wherefores and just pray for them.  If I really mean what I am praying then how can I entertain bitterness or anger?  It took me a while to figure out how that worked, but now I just ask the Lord to bless them and to show me how to be kind to them regardless of how difficult they can be.   

Now, Father, thank you for teaching us about just how serious it is to harbor unforgiveness toward another.  This is serious business to You and that means that even if it is difficult, I need to work my way through to understanding how to release ill feelings toward another and exercise forgiveness.  I know that I do not want to be stunted in my spiritual maturity due to my unwillingness to comply and be obedient.  Will you help me, Father, because this is not easy, to forgive and release where You reveal that I need to do so.  I will trust You because I know You have my best interest in mind and that You do not want to see me living in a way that does not glorify You or show the world that You are our ultimate Healer and Redeemer!  I will thank You now for the work You are about to do in my heart as You prepare and make it fallow and easy for the Holy Spirit to bring about miraculous change that glorifies You!  Amen.

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How Do I Forgive Myself?

Nyborg 0037

I have added a page to my blog with the intention of offering a kind hand through prayer to those who struggle to forgive themselves.  Is your past one like mine that is filled with pictures of where you never again want to visit…have you done stuff that seems unforgivable?

Please take a moment to view this page on my blog and maybe share the hope of forgiveness with someone you know might be struggling with past regret!

The Tough Stuff

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Why God…Why?

God, life is so stinkin’ hard…………………

Why do we have to endure sorrow, grief, pain, broken hearts, abrupt change and death……………………….

There, I said it, that word that changes the face of everything.  Nothing is the same once it visits and all that is left is what resides in our memory.  Not to mention all the flood of shoulda, coulda, woulda’s…

I wish I had gone and tried to mend our relationship and said that it is okay and I forgive you…

I should have been there for them and maybe if I had this wouldn’t have ended like this or I wish I could have seen them once more before they departed this earth…

I would have given you the hug that I always withhold cause hugs are difficult for me to give (you know me) and I would have said just how much I love you so that there would never be any doubt about it…

The appearance of death at our doorsteps is inevitable…it will come!  So whenever I am touched by tragic loss, I first think oh my that could have been my loved one, and I thank God for the fact that it wasn’t but my heart bleeds for those now going through tragic loss.

The Word tells us that we are to mourn with those who mourn and in so doing we are sharing in the pain a person/family is going through.  God knows we weren’t intended to go there alone.  I remember an awful experience from winter when I got word one of my kids had been injured in a strange accident which should have resulted in a death, or at least disability.  I was devastated to think of what life might look like for this wandering one.  The emotional tide that washed over me was almost too much to bear.  And I was able to allow God to wrap me in His love with the promise that it would be alright.  In my loved one’s situation it turned for extreme good…

Then word came of the dear saint who lost her girl in a tragic accident…senselessly lost by the carelessness of a drunken driver.  A loss that has impacted a husband and family, his family, her family, friends and friends of family…and it goes on and on.  Our hearts  hurt for the loss of this dear woman of God and those others mentioned and yet we wrestle in our minds “why”? Why now, why her, why this way, why, why, why.

We go to the Father with all the questions and He allows us to question His sovereignty and His perfect plan and the fact that why did she have to go like this…God why???  And lovingly and ever so gently He reminds us that our days are preordained and that it will be okay and that not only does He love us but He reminds us that our loved one–because of being His child–is safe and securely with Him in glory!

Revelation 21:4 says what we all long to hear in the heat of our pain…

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither

shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

So we lean hard into the truth and we trust that someday He will turn our mourning into dancing when we once again see our loved one and God’s perfect plan becomes evidenced in our hearts and that the truth which is sometimes so hard to hear now makes perfect sense.

A hope song from Jeremy Camp, “There Will Be A Day”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le-TG4sRRiQ]

Thank you Father for being our comforter in the most difficult of times.  For some reason You allow us to experience excruciating pain whether physical or emotional and we just cry out to You and must trust You will take it away or not.  That You will give us the ability to endure it even though it feels like we are awash with the weight of the world as we go through this time of tragedy.  Thank You for holding our loved ones who grieve and for your promise that there will be a day when there will be no more tears and no more pain to endure albeit tears of joy, amen.”

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