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So Much to be Thankful For!

Thanks Fam
From our family to yours!

 

As a child of the King, I am so grateful for new life in Christ! The Lord has saved me and I did not even realize I needed to be saved or rescued.  But, He restored me and is making me whole.  He looked down on this lost lamb and claimed me for His very own. 

I am thankful that I have a Father who has given me more than stuff, He has given me life which He promises in abundance! And on most days I feel full to overflowing with His love. 

I am most thankful to have free access to my Father and whenever there is a need He is there to help me.  He even lets me share Him with those who do not know who He is. 

“Oh come, let us sing to the Lord! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the Lord is the great God, And the great King above all gods. In His hand are the deep places of the earth; The heights of the hills are His also. The sea is His, for He made it; And His hands formed the dry land. Oh come, let us worship and bow down; Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.”  Psalm 95:1-6

Not only has God given me life and in abundance but he has given me love and people to share that with, family, friends and even strangers who need to see God’s love in action. 

You see like King David said,

” I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!”  Psalm 27:13,14 

I can be thankful for all kinds of stuff for I have so much but I am most thankful for the sacrifice of Christ which made a way for me to know God as my Father, Provider, Redeemer, Peace, Healer…stuff is temporal but this life in Christ is eternal! 

A Blessed Thanksgiving to You and Yours!

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When Your Past Prevents Your Future…

Maybe like me you have looked at amazing women and thought about just how much they have it all together! And then you remember, well I could never do that or go there because see…I have this dark history that used to remind me that yup, you are invalidated because of your “stuff”.  For too long I let my past prevent my future. I allowed the darkness to overshadow the glowing ember within me that was just waiting for the deep breath to inhale, ignite and begin to grow that light inside of me to a blaze.

Regret was one of the enemies of my soul. I was so filled with regret from the things I allowed myself to partake in as a young teen that shame trumped every attempt at my climbing out of the pit my self-destructive lifestyle had dug. I was living what I deserved falling into abusive relationships, because I wasn’t worthy of anything else. I truly thought that my life was worthless and that I would never know true happiness.

I became a Christian in thanks to Christian media and while watching the 700 Club as a young troubled 30 year old mom of three and in a live-in relationship. It was in thanks to the program’s willingness to show their testimony segments that I realized that maybe, just maybe there was hope for me and my very messy past. So I responded to the call from Pat Robertson to receive Christ by praying with him that day in 1984 and I accepted Jesus as my Savior.

It would be wonderful to say that everything changed that day! And spiritually it did, however it took thirteen years for me to struggle through my past regrets. After getting myself involved in my husband’s church (I married the guy I was living with in 1986) and had started to attend the church he grew up in so that he would feel compelled to come back too. At that time it sure seemed as though it was a ‘do good’ church full of people who were so good that I could in no way feel comfortable as I compared myself to them because of this past I was dragging along. So I couldn’t get close to people in the church for fear they may see my baggage and judge me for it. It took some time but I began to see that many were like me, being very good at wearing masks.

My tendency is to please because I don’t want another rejection! I have been rejected it seems forever. Serious rejections like from the father of my firstborn who got me pregnant when I was just 17, then refused to be responsible for us. And the guy who convinced me to abort our baby because he wasn’t ready to handle another kid just yet…Like relationships that were always based on what they could get from me and then they would leave me. I always gave myself away thinking that was how I could hold on to someone. Oh I was so young, needy and looking for love in all the wrong places.

I am grateful to God for allowing me to get to the place where I began to question if this was all there was to this ‘Christian’ life? A place that brought me to my knees.  And then on my face in a desperate search and desire to know Him, really know Him in a deeper way. I surrendered my yucky marriage, my troubled children and my pitiful life and begged God to do something. It was then that God met me in this pathetic state of being and where He rescued me.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay.

And he set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God;

Many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.”

A portion of Scripture that I have laid claim to and have called my own from Psalm 40:1-3! I am eternally thankful for His redeeming love that was the healing balm poured over me so that I would know that I do have purpose and that He saved me from my past. That is how I am now able to open up and let others know that they don’t have to be silent and that God is more than able to heal our wounded beginnings. My love for Him is immense!

I love this song from Point of Grace and often sing it when I share my story:

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Let Your Love be Genuine

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credit to Chat in the Hat

A friend of mine and a loved one of mine are so good at picking up on the needs of others.  It amazes me how a segment of their life is all about using their gift of mercy to come along side of  those who have been in tough places and have real physical and spiritual  needs.  These women are an inspiration to me and they truly walk out the verse in Micah 6:8 that is really a verse for all of us!

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

After reading through the minor prophets in the Old Testament, I came away with knowing how important it is to stay connected to the Father and then walk out my love for Him by loving others.  If Jesus said in six different verses in the New Testament that we are to “…love one another…” then I think it is a pretty important point to pick up on and to live out!

  • John 13:34: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have love you, you also are to love one another.

    John 13:35:  “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

    John 15:12:  “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

    John 15:17:  “These things I command you, so that you will love one another.”

    1 John 3:11:  “For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.”

    2 John 1:5:  “And now I ask you, dear lady–not as though I were writing you a new commandment, but the one we havce had from the beginning–that we love one another.”

  • Are you getting the picture?  This is for the body of Christ today, right now! How are you doing with your part of the words above from Jesus?  I know we all don’t have the gift of mercy but let me ask you how you are doing with issues toward another?  You might be gifted in teaching or helps but if you are not living out the above “commandment” are you being effective?  Nothing we speak or do without the inspiration that comes from genuine care or concern amounts to a hill of beans if it isn’t lived out in us first.  I have heard it said that our pets know instinctively who is a dog or cat lover.  And that can be applied to people as well.  If we love each other and sincerely care, we will accomplish what Christ calls us to because we have taken seriously the mandate to “love one another“. 

    Lord, I know there are people that I struggle to love and I want that to change so that I can walk in Your ways, not my own.  Please stir in me a desire to let go of any misunderstandings and really desire to put love into practice.  I can call out to you when it gets difficult and if I listen to You, You will show me how!  Paul says it well in Romans that we are to “If possible, so far as it depends on you (me), live peaceably with all.”  When I purpose to live letting love be my motivation, you can use me to touch lives with Your words and minister to the hurting!

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A New Kind of Normal at My House!

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Momma and her grandpup Elsa

Have you ever wondered and asked, “How in the world did I get from here to there?” Boy oh boy, I am shaking my head lately and asking God, “Huh, God, how in the world did you do that?”

Every day over these past few months I find myself amazed as I look around my home and the changes that have taken place and I am in awe! I suppose there is a part of me that has realized that life just ain’t what it used to be—not at all!—but also it is a new kind of comfortable. As I try to find the pattern for this new kind of normal in my home.

In July my sister brought my mom up for another ‘few month’s’ summer stay (or so mom was told.) My sister and I had been discussing that if she could stay up here for good it would be better for my sister and for my mom from the stand point that she would have more one on one time with her love ones. (My sister has a very pressing job that takes way too many of her hours!) While she was still here we looked at and discussed some options for where our mom could stay that would be financially feasible and the best fit for her and her minimal needs.

Fast forward to late August…mom was informed that she would be staying up here instead of returning to Orlando where she has lived for almost 18 years. We have asked her over the years when she stays in her ‘trailer’ for summer months to consider staying permanently to which she abruptly retorts ‘no way, too cold for me!’ You see this little five foot tall woman is barely 84 pounds! No body fat to help keep her warm. However…she is here and for her, this was a pretty rude awakening for her to “be told” that she would not be returning ‘home’.

Fast forward to October…my mom moves in with us!  And really, except for the cold, she is in a good place. Enough said.

This is a move that would never have taken place if not for a husband who has a soft spot for elderly mom! He was pretty close to his own mother who hasn’t been here for quite a few years now. So he was 100% on board with having her move in with us or believe me it wouldn’t have happened. We all know how the son-in-law, mother-in-law thing goes and the animosity that can build in those situations. No, not my guy who has been over the top kind and loving (well he can be a bit gruff at times but she knows how to read him) not to mention willing to adjust to accommodate her needs!

August end and September kept me very busy, trying to figure out where to put a room full of stuff so mom would have her own space. This and a few cupboards in the kitchen and pantry and drawers in the bathroom…oh my, what a chore! But…we have accommodated this dear woman as best as we can and she has now been in residence with us since October 10th.

For the most part I am over-the-top thrilled to have her here with us. My mom and I haven’t ever been this close (well maybe when I was a child, then it was just the two of us!) I am thrilled to be here for her, to ‘minister’ to her needs and have her see Christ in me, my hope of glory. And I want to make this adjustment for her as smooth as possible and it is going well. But there is also a part of me that looking back, forced me into an adjustment I might never have been ‘ready’ for. Caring for an elder person is time consuming. It is so not about me and my needs right now which means I find myself doing a lot of things quite differently. So in the process of laying me down to take up the needs of someone else has—let’s say—been very interesting!

Some of you know exactly what I am going through and some of you might say that you would never get in a situation like this. But as I talk to my Father about this big adjustment I have heard Him speak to my heart that this isn’t about Kimberly…this is to show Joan who I am. I have made the decision to lay down 80% of my ‘me’ time to take care of, minister to and just be there for this little woman of 83. She doesn’t know Jesus! One of the biggest confirmations that we were doing the right thing was one evening when she looked over at me and said, “You know, this really feels like family” and I had to hide my tears.

I may be doing things I haven’t done in years or never done before, like watching the “Voice” (a weekly TV program mom loves to watch), or rubbing her back with lotions and fixing a different kind of menu because of her own dietary needs. But I know that God has this all planned out. For such a time as this my calling is to be Jesus to my little momma.

Father, sometimes you call us to go to the ends of the earth to bring the Good News to those who don’t know You. And sometimes you call us to adjust our comfort level in our own home to bring the Good News to one who doesn’t know You. When we surrender our wants, desires and plans, you pour out grace where needed and help us to make the uncomfortable adjustments to accommodate all you are doing in the midst of a ‘new kind of normal. Help me to continue embracing the change and trust the outcome for Your glory and in Your Name!

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Going ‘Round the Mountain

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Love Joy Peace Faith

Do you ever find yourself sick and tired of going around and around the mountain and making the same mistakes over and over again and again?  Wow, I sure do and I get so frustrated with myself when I do thinking ‘haven’t I gotten this lesson yet?’ Thankfully this has ignited my desire to draw closer to God.  I knew that God had something so much sweeter for my life but that I would have to jump some hurdles to get there. 

For me, it was a matter of learning to lay down my pride, and acknowledge that I could no longer rely on my own resources to keep from making the same mistakes over and over again.  Don’t you just hate it when you are in repeat mode?  You self-talk asking God to never let it happen again and then boom, repeat.  It is embarrassing to continually do, react or forge ahead and then realize that you have been on this pathway before!  For instance, my marriage was not going to improve unless I was willing to work on me.  My tendency to be judgmental and critical  of others was not going to stop until I realized that I had to make a very purposeful choice not to look at others comparing myself with them and criticize.  My ministry was not going to go forth until I was willing to be honest with my struggles and work on allowing the Lord to refine me in the furnace of His love, being content knowing that He would use me right where I was.  You see, God really wants us to flourish and grow and go forth in His name and for His purposes.  And finally that I would stay committed to relationships with Him, my husband, children, work and friends to the best of my abilities and most of the time.  Not in my strength but in His. 

Where God was and is concerned, I had to make a choice (and daily make that choice) to spend  time with Him first and foremost!  This is where I have learned the answers to the hard things involving all my relationships.  Learning to love my husband in a fresh way unlike I never had before.  Friends, it has changed our relationship!  I suppose realizing that I cannot control anybody but me is nothing really new but God made it fresh for me as I focused on what I could do to better our relationship instead of expecting and demanding that my husband needed to change.  I am only able to change me!!!  With my children it was similar in that I could not control their lives like I used to try to do to keep them from learning the hard way like I had to do. They have to learn their life lessons in the same way I have, through their own choices and mistakes. 

Work was merely a matter of being content where God had placed me.  I am not one who enjoys confrontation and a few years back we had a lot of confrontation going on and frankly I wanted out.  Not realizing that God was up to some big and exciting things that I could have very well missed out on.  So every interesting job posting that became available in town I would apply for.  But God certainly had something else in mind.  He has kept me at Psalm FM Radio to serve in the capacity of the office administration and on air for over 23 years. And I have now been part of a very exciting ministry including the “Vertical Connection”, my radio program.  For almost ten years I have hosted a two hour radio program to encourage listeners to draw near to the Father’s heart.  A side note of thanks to a former employee who saw something in me that I never dreamed I could do, and I thank Gene!  We just never know where God is going to take us and sometimes He takes us kicking and screaming while saying “I can’t do that!” 

These tests and trials that come through our relationships with others, whether they be Christian or not, really matter to God.  We are members of a body.  We are not all the same (thankfully) and we have so much to offer each other but more importantly people are the litmus test of getting this God-walk right!  I know we are all in process and we do not have it perfect this side of glory, but, how we treat each other is crucial from the stand point that the outside world looks at us in expectation that we know how to do it right.  I think the song says that “They will know we are Christians by our love…”  and we do know how to do it right.  But the question is will I choose to do it the way I have been instructed and shown from God Himself through Christ? Loving God and loving others? Or will I continue to circle around the mountain again and again never taking the next step upward? 

We can always justify our actions whether anger, jealousy, injustice or whatever other reason that is out there.  But as my dear friend and I were sharing recently, the bottom line is we are responsible for making the right choice.  By doing so we deny the flesh and by doing this we allow the flow of the healing balm of reconciliation to be applied to whatever the offense was that tore us apart. Our Father and Creator, is fully aware of our short comings and struggles.  And although we will continue to make wrong choices it is certain that we will make less wrong and many more correct as we purpose to serve and spend time allowing the Lord to change who we are into the image of His Son Jesus.

I know how hard it is, believe me, but for me I am now at a place where I have tasted the sweet rewards of my Father when I do it right and I would rather take that next step up the mountain than let my frustrations and disappointments continue to hold me back because of repeating the same mistake time and time again, keeping me at the baseline.  Henceforth, going round and round the mountain!

Ephesians 5:1,2

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

Father, You know the sorrow that plagues me when I mess up.  I can only imagine the disappointment that You must feel when I have to take the same test over and over again.  I truly have set my sites on You and I really want to show others just how much You love them by the way I live my life and treat others.  To be Your representative I ask that You give me the courage to change me and I surrender my frustrations and all that I think is justified in exchange for Your grace and ask that You would help me to humbly wear and put on Your love for others…in Jesus’ Name.

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Running the Race

Who’s to know if Paul was an athlete (unlikely?) or a wanna be or had he been an observer to the Roman Olympics? When you read the descriptions of this man we don’t really find our mind wandering to pictures of a buff, athletic form of a man. On the contrary, we read stuff like that he was a tent maker (Acts 18:3). So he sat and sewed tents and people who sit a lot…well you get my drift. No real physical prep going on there. He was raised at the feet of the famous Jewish teacher, Gamaliel which meant hours of pouring over the Pentateuch, learning all of the Scriptures. Paul was particularly known for his knowledge and obedience of the Mosaic law. I see a picture of a man who did much reading and reciting. Now you can recite on the run but…highly improbable in his day with no ipods and such with the recorded Word drumming in his ear either. In 1 Corinthians 2:1,3 we see mentioned that Paul’s inadequacies include not being an excellent orator and being weakened in his flesh. So how interesting it is that he draws a spiritual parallel of the life of faith to one of a physical race.  

Let’s look at a few verses from 1 Corinthians 9

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? :24

The exhortation is to run in such a way as you would as if you were in a competition. He has compared this journey to a marathon! Life can surely be a long one at that. Then he continues on to tell us that we have to exercise self-control throughout this marathon. 

Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. :25

Wow, now he is really hitting home. Oh how I struggle with the speaking before thinking it through thing. Or the doing before praying thing. Yet I know that this is where the Lord completely shows me that I can save many steps by checking in with Him first! Okay, I am seeing the picture here. (How we need our coach!) Now on to the prize thing. We are not running this race to add a trophy or another trophy to our display case. No, this one is a forever, in full living color kind of a trophy that is too big for my little pea-sized brain to imagine. For an eternity with my Father is just too big to put to words, but this is it, this is the goal. And I just can’t afford to get sidetracked with the minuscule issues of life (that see overwhelmingly large at the time) that the enemy of my soul uses to pull me off course. You know, sidetracked by disappointments (in myself or others), relationship issues or every little stinky thing that comes along to persuade me to stop for just a while till I get this thing ironed out. (That one just cost me three miles!) 

Now Paul gets into the ring and he really puts purpose to each swing, jab and punch: 

I run is such a way as not without aim, I box in such a way as not beating the air; :26

So I can then ask myself, why am I doing this anyway? What is it all about that I should go through all the rigorous training, denying and pushing myself beyond my capabilities anyway? Have I really got the end in mind? This is a good time to reflect and make sure I fully comprehend what it is all about. And is it really all about me and my goals anyway? Or is there a bigger picture here than me getting to the finish line. I think we all would adamantly agree that it is! I was brought to the Scripture in 2 Peter 3:9 that tells us that God desires that no man would perish and that all would come to repentance. I know that I repeat this a lot but here we go again. We get saved and on our way but then it is about those out there who also need to know the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ before it is too late. The hurting out there need to know that there is a God who is big enough to heal their pain and wipe their tears and bring peace to their calamity. To bring salvation to their souls! 

So here we go with the last verse that is going to really drive it home as I wrap my brain around the fact that Paul was a spiritual athlete! 

but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. :27

True confession time. I have failed miserably at times when it comes to doing the right thing. Whether it’s denying my appetite or exercising, I am not a very disciplined person. I want to be but…being human and on this side of glory I will be prone to fail at making my goals. I am however a bit better than I was if that counts for anything. But this is the verse that really bites. “…so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” Ouch! In consideration of being a Christian life coach, you know, you attempt to tell others how to walk the walk and then you model the way…and my biggest fear is in failing to be the example. However, there is a viable solution to “down time”. We do not have to be caught in the devils snare dwelling on thoughts that tell us that we will never be good enough to serve the King because we keep messing up! 

Bob Carlisle sings a song called “We Fall Down” that really brings this struggle to light. I hope you will take the opportunity to listen and let me know how you receive what he sings. Friends, we are going to stumble and it may throw us off course for a time (hopefully not too long) but the thing is we must get back up and continue on pursuing the race set before us. My life verse really solidifies the entire message here.  

I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet, but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead; I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14

 And that’s it. I am not disqualified if I press on. When I see the winners of those marathon races as they hit the finish ribbons, they ain’t very pretty and they look like they are in mega pain to boot but they made it. I too will get weary and worn but…it is going to be well worth it at the end when I hear my Abba say “Well done!” 

Friend, whatever you do, don’t loose heart. Let’s keep pressing on, you see over there, up ahead, we are getting closer! 

Father, I see that it is all for You that I am even alive. Thank you for loving me and making a way for me to be reconcile to You through Your Son, Jesus. I just ask that You help me up when I stumble and my knees are pretty scuffed up from tripping but I will not give up. You have called me to dance for You and I am going to give You my best. Use me Lord as You see fit for I am excited to see that the fields are white unto harvest and that Your return is very soon. Let me be part of the the homecoming in Jesus’ Name!

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And When I Am Old I Will…

Sudden realities are interesting to say the least. I’m certain that I’m not the only one who reflects and then wonders what’s next on the journey of life. But what I didn’t expect in my speculating was a reversal of the norm, because even today at my age I often wonder what I’m going to do when I grow up. No, I took a very new and different road this time. One I had never been on before. I had an epiphany and a reality check regarding my possible time left on this earth as we know it today. 

Far be it from me to be concerned or fearful of aging and growing old. After all, many things are so much better with age, cheese, wine, and what about those things we call classics? Worth a bundle today! And look what the Word has to say about growing old, I’ve read those verses and think someday, I will be wise and have beautiful snow white hair, like it says in Proverbs 16:31,

“A gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness.” 

Well my pondering was a mixed bag of coulda, woulda, shoulda’s and now…what remains? I don’t mean to say that I was crying the blues and feeling all was lost but…there was definitely a cap on what was once ‘the sky’s the limit.’ Do you know where I’m going here? Some of you will of course identify immediately–because you have experienced what I am referring to–but some of you are going to think, what in the world is she talking about! It is for you that I will explain. For the first time I pondered what the finish line was going to look like. And the reality that oh my, there really is not a whole lot of time left and how can I now make the time that is left really count for Christ’s sake? Remember the time when you thought that 25 or 30 years was a really long time? Not anymore. (I think that means that I have crossed over.) 

I remember hearing someone on the news recently mention how Ann Graham Lotz, the famous preacher’s daughter, say that should she live out a normal life (she was 60 at the time) that she expects to see the return of Jesus Christ. Wow, what a statement to make. This is quite remarkable, even as we see the face of America “change” it certainly seems as though we are witnessing first hand the set up for the final round. After all, look what it says in Matthew 24:6:

“You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars.
See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.“ 

Don’t you appreciate the part of the verse that says to see that we are not frightened? It indeed isn’t the end but I think we are on the precipice, now able to begin to peak over the top and view the valley of what’s ahead.

So all this to say to those of you who still think that 20 to 30 years is forever a long ways off, for now it is. But let me add that even so, Christ could return at any time now. And that being said, have we really given our all for Him? Have we taken up the commission to follow after Him and to be the salt and light around us? Maximizing the opportunities that He sends our way? Or do we just look at what we have and think thank God I am where I am and I sure hope those others can make it. What soul is out there that needs to have extended to them–through you–Jesus’ hands and feet? I really like Casting Crowns’ song “If We Are the Body”

 It just says it so succinctly, wouldn’t you agree?

So the next time you think to yourself ah, that is way down the road, just remember that every year that now ticks by is like counting backwards, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20…and friends, there are a whole lot of people out there who do not have a clue. Don’t wait until you retire to do a mission outreach project. Why not make your neighborhood your “mission” outreach? Do you know just how many people out there need to hear a kind word because their life is in a shambles? Or, how about those children who desperately need a positive influence in their life? Believe me, I am speaking to myself too. Surely there is a way to make a difference in your sphere of influence. And it doesn’t have to be a BIG thing. Just tell someone the difference that Christ has made in your life. It might just be God’s perfect timing as you provide a solution to their pain, frustration or confusion!

Let’s make it count! My life verse is from Philippians 3:13,14

“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” 

I see the goal and it’s just ahead…

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Out of the Desert…

I have had my dry times–spiritually speaking–where it seems as though I am crawling  through molasses. Have you ever experienced that? Everything is just as it always is and I then begin to sense the growing barrenness in my life. That old feeling of walking alone and out of sync with the flow. Everyone else seems to be alive and excited to be serving God but for some reason, I feel blah spiritually!Those times have been too often and frankly I do not like being there. It is a pathway that is weighty and bordering on sorrow and dare I say depression? 

I have never been in a sand dessert but for a time I did live in the northern part of New Mexico. It is not quite the same but there are some similarities with the hot dry, summers. In a sand desert, there is some life but not a bustling flurry of activity as in a thriving forest. It is simply too hot and dry.This ugly cactus plant of mine is rather similar to the plants that grow in the desert. It tends to thrive on very little water and it is so ugly that I almost wish it would die so I could get rid of it. I think it is about 45 years old and as you can see it doesn’t get huge. What grows (very slowly I might add) are these ugly long fronds or whatever you call them with their prickly little edges (although not like the usual cacti with its thorns.) It sits rather lopsided in my pot and obstructs my husbands view of the television if I don’t turn it around the other way. 

My dry times can be just like that old cactus, dry, barren, lonely and fruitless. It really is a terrible place to be. I am not even nice to be around because I have no joy, motivation or energy. I just want to hang it up. Interestingly, it even causes those that I am around to get cranky, like my husband. My hard places don’t just effect me, they also have an impact on those around me. My co-workers know when Kimberly Dawn is going through rough times because I am usually a pretty joy-filled person. (Praise God!) But not with the weight of the world on my shoulders, pressing me down! Or a mind preoccupied with relationships gone awry. 

However, it is in these valleys where my sorrow is caused by my own poor choices. If you are a relational person like me, you know how important people are in your life, you need them to interact with and fellowship with and just to enjoy life with. Thank you Lord for creating fellowship with one another. But then a quirky communication takes place and an offense comes along and suddenly the joy has been robbed. I have reacted by making provision for the flesh, and harbor bitterness or jealousy in my heart and wham, down I go and it is time to linger in the desert for a few rounds about the mountain. My thoughts are possessed with wrong thinking. My reactions are very “me” centered around all my thoughts and hurt feelings. Woe is me, they don’t understand, what about my feelings on the issue and don’t I have a “right” to feel the way I do? Just look how they have hurt me! It is amazing what we will try to justify! 

When I go to bed at night, I want sweet thoughts and pleasurable memories of my day or week. I want to reflect on the goodness of the Lord and to be able to see His hand in motion throughout my day. If I am in the midst of a desert experience I can’t see any of that, just poor, miserable me. If I dwell too long in that place I become dryer, harder and more and more lifeless and bitter in my own defense. What an icky place to be! 

How in the world do I come to an end of my desert journey? Thanks be to God for the power of the Holy Spirit in spite of quenching His Spirit with my “me-ness” mentality. Something jogs my heart and I begin to see that I am the problem not the other party. I’m the one who is holding on to the bitterness, unforgiveness, anger and resentment because all I can see is how mistreated I have been. God’s Word has sooo…much to say about the above list of excuses we use to stay in our desert-land: 

This Scripture from Matthew 5:23,24 really sheds a spotlight on relational issues out of sync:

So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

I am believing that my offering to God is not going to amount to anything with resentment at the root of my heart. And I have worshiped and wondered why I couldn’t sense His presence and wondered why He seemed so distant from me. 

From Romans 13:14 Paul tells,

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

And this includes along with all sorts of immoralities, strife and envy.  And once again from Mark 12:25

But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.

You have to admit that forgiveness is a huge issue in God’s eyes. I guess that means that I better make it a priority also. God says 7 times 70 and that if I cannot forgive then I too will not be forgiven. God forbid I don’t get a grasp on this one! So, what is my excuse now? Can I really justify my situation any longer? I don’t think so! Okay Holy Spirit, show me how to get myself to the watering hole ’cause I am so parched and desperately longing for Your presence once again. 

You see, with enough sunlight and just the right amount of water, that ugly old cactus does an amazing thing every once in a while. It unpredictably blooms. Sometimes only one or two but these huge gorgeous blooms come out of the most unlikely places. And like that blooming cactus, I too need adequate time in the “Son” so that I can produce fruit that will please my Father and bless others.  

How’s your heart today? Are you filled with bitterness and anger? Unforgiveness and resentments? The Lord would have us walking in the fruit of the Spirit which is right where I need to be so I want will exhibit those attributes toward others. It is through a victorious life that this fruit grows and is used to show others the love of Christ.

 Galatians 5:22,23

But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.

Father, will You show me my unpleasantness and its root? I don’t want to be there anymore. I want the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in my life so that when others look at my life they see You. Help me to root out all the negative things like anger, resentment, bitterness, envy and strife those things that keep me in bondage. Set me free and even if I need to go to someone for forgiveness will You give me the grace to humble myself and approach that one so that we might be restored to fellowship with one another and with You? I trust that You will work out all the details of this in my life and that You will receive all the glory, honor and praise due Your Name. I will lean on Your promises and trust this to be resolved in Your perfect timing. Restore me Lord to Your presence and fill me with Your sweet Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ Name, Amen

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It’s the Right Thing to Do!

I recently received a revelation dealing with relationships. More specifically in dealing with relationships between believers. I am pretty certain that we all have been in the situation where we have either had an injustice done to us by a brother or sister-in-the Lord or we see these things being done to another. I don’t know about you but my first reaction is “how could they, and they call themselves Christians.” Honestly, like it or not we have all been on either side of the situation.

Before I continue, I want to put in a disclaimer. As I was laying in bed last night the Lord prompted me to do so because some of you are going to react negatively to this…I am not referencing people who have issues with being abusive, neglectful, or controlling. I do address the issue of confronting one caught in sin later. I am saying that all of us at some time or another have either mistreated or observed one who has mistreated or taken advantage of a brother or sister-in-the-Lord. If you want to discuss this further with me please feel free to email me personally. I do understand!

It really takes a person that is mature in their walk to respond correctly–in love and with grace–to a situation like this. Most of the time we begin to rally the troops, spread the scenario around like jam so it gets good and sticky and makes the offender out to be a horrible person. Even though they really aren’t horrible but have treated another horribly.

You have to love when the Holy Spirit does a number on you as you enter into the battle zone and suddenly you are heavily impressed upon to see the error of the way you are thinking and responding toward an offender. (I will call the person an offender simply because they mistreated another brother or sister-in-the-Lord.)  In a particular situation, my first reaction was to stir the pot of gossip…do you know what so-and-so just did…I can’t believe they treated _______ like that!

Don’t we typically think that Christians wouldn’t treat each other that way? Come on, that es a wrong assumption. Let’s face it, we all walk in the flesh from time to time but the bottom line is we shouldn’t. Here is a passage of Scripture that hits this on the mark:

Galatians 5:13-16

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

And the fruit of the Spirit is, love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…It is so easy to ignore some of the fruit, “longsuffering”, “kindness” and especially (for me that is) “self-control”. If we believe our instruction manual, it rather looks as though we have an obligation to one another, don’t you think?

Let’s go to an interesting story in the Old Testament where we see Noah enjoying the fruit of his labor, from his vineyard.

Genesis 9:20-24

Then Noah began farming and planted a vineyard. And he drank of the wine and became drunk, and uncovered himself inside his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were turned away, so that they did not see their father’s nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him.

At this point Noah has done something foolish and been found out by his youngest son Ham. Ham then goes and make issue of it with his brothers Shem and Japheth. But they, instead of embarrassing their father, chose to cover his nakedness. As a cross reference to verse 21 we read in Proverbs 20:1 that “Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is intoxicated by it is not wise.” The two brothers were looking out for their father’s reputation and they wouldn’t even look upon him in his embarrassing state.

Let me ask you, have you done foolishly as a believer? There are many scenarios in my mind that I can replay that I sure wish weren’t there. Times where I opened my mouth and inserted my foot and wished I could take back what was said. You see, if we love God and love others then we need to take this new command and live it out, first with our brothers and sisters. In our own eyes we might look better, we might be a better “Christian” or maybe we are the somebody that really needs to set that person straight! This from Proverbs really speaks loudly to me

Proverbs 6:16-19 (ESV) “There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers”.

Now I can hear someone say wait a minute. Are you saying that we don’t expose their sin? There is a mandate on how to handle that. In Matthew 18 it talks directly of confronting one caught in sin. But before I go there I better be sure that the log is out of my eye and my motives are only out of love and for the betterment of my brother or sister.

I wonder what happens when a non-believer witnesses the correct response to the outrageous behaviour of another beleiver? I would like to think they see one who loves God and loves others. Not bringing shame to the offender and not being antagonistic or a false witness. Although, I confess that this is still not easy stuff to appropriate! For the worldly way and our natural tendency is self-motivated but the Christlike way is selfless. The world says to expose, embarrass and sling the insults because it makes us appear better and they the fool. Christ’s way is just the opposite, we do not damage the reputation of our brother or sister.

So I’m certain I won’t pass every test that comes along in this area. But, when I do act correctly and look out for the well-being of a brother or sister-in-the Lord, as obnoxious as they can be, I have peace with myself and God.  And interestingly enough even with that offensive person.

Father God, these aren’t easy lessons to learn but this is a battle I want to win for Christ’s sake. I ask for wisdom and discernment to quicken immediately within me so I can see when I am headed in the wrong direction with my thinking. When I feel like I have every right to be angry at someone for whatever reason, let me hear Your still small voice speak “not I, but Christ..” We are not in this to win battles but to win others to Christ and to exhibit Christ’s love in all kinds of situations in life. How else will they know we are different? Like the old song says, “they will know we are Christians by our love…” Thank you for teaching me these hard lessons and giving me the heart’s desire to love You and love others. I surrender once again my right for Your will. In the powerful, life-changing name of Jesus!

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Pleasing God or Man…Where do You Stand?

I want to look at a couple of things that can really impact my effectiveness for Christ.  

  • If I am tuning in to what God’s will is for my life, then I am going to have to know His voice and respond in obedience when He calls.
  • By getting to know and recognize His voice I should be able to detect when the enemy comes along to pull me off track.

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

John 10:27

Am I willing to forego pleasing men to be in the will of my Father? 

There are times it seems that so many things pull and vie for my attention and all I really want to do is what my Father has called me to do.  But, there is this voice over here that says how good I might be at that task or asking me if I could serve on this committee; and there was that burning desire in my heart to take up that cause so near and dear to me.  Oh, there are so many things that are calling my name. But then there are also the negative voices that say you are crazy if you think that you can do that or go there, or you are so unqualified to be even thinking of doing that job. But, I just want to please my Father. 

God can call us to do some pretty out-of-the-box things that people sometimes do not see as ‘God’ things. How would you respond to a friend who decides to move to the inner city to minister with a group of like-minded folks who see the lost and hopeless as another facet of God’s treasure? I don’t just mean a two week stint, I mean until further notice thiswill be the residency of that friend and his/her family? You might respond by saying that they are just too radical and throw all the ‘what if’s’ at them.  Would you try to convince them that they should not be thinking of doing such a crazy thing after all consider your family? And you might fire right off with whether they were really certain that it was God’s voice that they were responding to, right? These do seem to be pretty valid questions! 

I absolutely love when I run into or hear of someone who is so sold out and convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are doing just what God has called them to do, radical or not.These are people who care about one thing and that is being obedient to their God-calling! The coolest part of this is that amazing things can happen when we are obedient to our calling. 

The flip side of this is when we succumb to the nay-sayers that keep us from taking that step forward instead consider man’s opinion over God’s calling, even if we know we are capable. On the other hand, you may appear to be totally unqualified according to man’s standards and yet God calls you in spite of your lack of qualifications and you do something you never imagined that you could do. 

This happened to me a few years ago when our church lost our worship arts director.  She was a gem that the Lord brought to us to usher in contemporary worship. Our church decided to hold two services, one traditional and one contemporary. Her husband, after three years with us was called to serve at a different church and we were left without our worship arts director.  She had asked me several times if I were interested but I just never believed I was qualified. I have minimal musical training but I love to worship. That was all I had to go on. After much persuasion and prayer I finally succumbed to the request and really gave it my best for a year. Friends, emotionally, it was one of the most difficult years I have ever had, I believe, primarily, because I allowed the varying comments of too many to cause me to doubt that I was doing what I was called to do. This affected the team, who lost confidence in me and began to resist my direction. It was a horrendous year emotionally and I have often wondered if I became too concerned with making the team members happy, or did I just not belong in that position? After all I was only there until someone came on board who was a ‘true’ director? I prayed and sought the Lord big time! I love the element that worship brings to the Sunday service and I love to worship, and I so wanted this to work out of my worshiper’s heart, but I leaned more on people’s varied opinions instead of my Father’s direction. I remember screaming out loud one morning, “Lord, I just want to please You!”  Well, circumstances at home would present a difficult summer ahead and I resigned the position after a year to be available to my mother who spends the summer with us. God knew I would not have the time required for the job and that I would be needed at home and frankly, it was a huge relief! 

At the radio station where I work, we run into so many opinions from our listeners and music is the subject that causes the most dissension. Some years back, we had a difficult time when we clearly felt the Lord was calling us to change our music emphasis to primarily praise and worship. We were headed for a top 40 Inspo format and three of us distinctly heard the calling from the Lord to open the music format up to praise and worship. Yes, it was different and yes, most stations were not going in that direction. Our calling was to raise a canopy of praise over northern Minnesota and Northwestern Ontario. We were called to help usher in the presence of the Lord in a very hardened and dark region. We definitely ruffled feathers and  it would have been much easier to try to flex to fit the opinion of many listeners. But the risk in compromise is that you lose sight of your calling for the ministry and what it is that God wants to do. We have to remember our focus, our calling, our purpose and that God, the creator of the universe, has positioned us to accomplish His purposes and His voice is really the voice we need to be listening to, not the opinions of hundreds of people who may or may not know what that calling is. Yes, it is difficult and people can be hurt or upset if when we do not consider their opinions. 

So why is it so…hard to move in God’s direction? Most of us want to be loved and accepted and I do not know anyone who likes rejection, but if you are doing what you are called to do you very likely will take some heat for choosing to please God instead of man. But, how precious are the words of our Father as we read of the parable of the servants who tended to their master’s business while he was off in another country!

Matthew 25: 20-21  “So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, ‘Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.’  His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’”

Father, I love You so much and I truly want to ‘dance’ for You and serve You with all my heart.  But sometimes I hear voices that cause me to second guess whether I am doing the right thing.I am asking that You help me to know You more and to recognize Your voice when You call me to do Your will. I so want to hear you say well done, Kimberly; you have served Me well…enter into the joy of your Lord!”  Your word says in Proverbs 16:7 that “When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”  The rewards for walking in obedience to Your calling are well worth the difficulty that can come when we are a God pleaser!  Thank you for giving me the courage to press on for Christ’ sake and in His name!

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