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We Can Be Overcomers!

Do you know someone who has been affected by abortion? Maybe you were a man or woman who lost your baby to abortion…poor choices…regretful decisions. Maybe you are a woman who found yourself pregnant from taking just one step beyond where you should have gone with your boyfriend or found yourself a victim of someone’s abuse and then found out you were pregnant…then you were convinced that there was only one thing you could do.

If you or someone you know is living with the regret of having an abortion, I want you to know that there is hope. Hope knowing that you can be an overcomer of the bondage of having an abortion or making other poor choices. You see, it is our poor choices that the enemy of your soul uses to keep you from walking in freedom, to keep you from living with peace and joy in your heart.

Instead, you wear regret as a chain around your neck, and there’s a pendent for each sin you have committed. They are heavy and they weigh you down. No wonder there’s no joy. Oh, friend, that is not what your Father has intended for you.

It Was Time to Open the Wound

I stuffed, I forgot, I ignored my pain for years and pretended that I was just fine. I never talked about it, I never shared with someone close, I kept it neatly packaged in my heart. Click To Tweet I became a Christian at 30 and four years later I had to deal with my sinful choice to abort. The lie I believed was that the church would never understand so I still kept very quiet and guarded if I shared at all. You see, I knew how God felt about such things…like murder…I allowed someone to convince me that it was no big deal to abort…after all it was only tissue mass.

It is pretty cool how God breaks through our messes and has His way in our hearts. After working with me and allowing me to view the “Silent Scream” a graphic movie of an abortion I was more or less forced to look at what I’d done. And although it wasn’t pretty I needed to admit what I had done so God could begin the healing process in my heart. My 14 year hidden sin needed to be exposed and that’s exactly what He did.

God Gave Me an Opportunity

He then allowed me to literally run into Kim Ketola, at a conference. Kim hosted a program called Cradle My Heart for several years and the long and short of it was that she asked me to be her guest. What a blessing that it would even be aired on Sanctity of Human Life Sunday in 2014. I did this more than willingly as an offering to my Lord and counted as a redeeming blessing!

Peace about what I had done didn’t come immediately but it did come as I understood the forgiveness of the Lord more and more, understanding Him as my redeeming Lord. I finally laid that sin at the cross and found forgiveness and peace. Wow, I had another pendant to rip off of that chain around my neck! Thank you Lord

So this is why I share my journey. I know there are many who have traveled this same pathway, who don’t know how to get rid of the memories and the pain that resurrect themselves and hold us captive to our past.

The Good News is always good news! Because through Christ and understanding the Character of our Lord, you can find peace and put your past sins under the blood of Jesus.

Friend, I hope you can find that peace that passes all understanding in the midst of your trial, pain and past. The Lord is waiting for you to just ask for His help and in turn to offer you His forgiveness. Don’t let it wait, lay it down at the cross! Please know that you can always contact me for prayer as I would count it a blessing to pray for you on this jourey!

My interview with Kim was my best, it was an offering to the Lord for my wrong and my willingness to be able to finally say…I AM FORGIVEN! No turning back. I don’t always understand God’s amazing grace but I have learned to receive it and I hope you will also!

Be blessed and enjoy this song by Lauren Daigle, How Can It Be…

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Out of My Comfort Zone…

Our fall has been very unusual. I would like to believe God was being kind to us giving us a lovely September even into October. There are years when our summers in northern Minnesota just aren’t pleasant enough. Finally, our delayed, cool and rainy fall weather, quite suddenly made its appearance. We experienced high temperatures in the 50’s and the lows in the lower and mid 20’s. We were suddenly smacked with degrees that were well below the norm for the time of the year. A portion of the fall foliage began to drain of its green color but curiously enough, many leaves began to fall even before they had completely turned to their fall color. 

Typically, my back woods–where I walk Elsa most days–is by now covered with a golden carpet of fallen poplar leaves. They often hang bright gold on the trees until the autumn winds blow them off. Reminding me of when I lived in the mountains in New Mexico. The huge poplar leaves would glisten and shake in the wind like huge golden coins against the almost white bark of the trees. A most beautiful sight! 

All of this to say, that as I was walking my Elsa one morning, I came up from the small ravine, walked past a larger ‘swamp’ spruce tree and something caught my attention. Stepping backward and looking down I see this tiny, stunted white ox-eyed daisy in full bloom, all surrounded by these half turned, greenish and gold poplar leaves. How odd, for all of the other fall flowers were not only frozen, but drying up and gone to seed weeks ago. But here is this determined little flower in full bloom and looking so out of its element. The freezing morning temperatures did not deterred this little flower a bit as it was determined to carry out its cycle here on our little “forty” no matter what. It was rather stunted at only about one quarter of its normally intended size and not quite as stunning as the summer daisies, but in full-bloom nonetheless. 

This has caused me to think of the many times that I have felt quite a bit like that little flower, blooming out of my element! I am reminded of what the Apostle Paul refers to when he says that God uses the foolish things of this earth to confound the wise? 

1 Corinthians 1:27 (NLT) 

“Instead, God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful.” 

The stuff that doesn’t make sense, it could be from a business venture, a ministry you have been called to or just when God calls you to do something completely out of your comfort zone, and wow, it flourishes. How can that be? 

I remember the day I was asked to pray about working at KBHW Radio. I walked into main control and saw all of that ‘stuff’, reels, buttons, knobs and such and I said there is no way that I could ever be capable of doing what would be required to operate a radio signal. But, I did agree to pray about it. Well, here I am 23+ years later more involved with radio than ever before. 

In these difficult days we are all facing, I want to encourage you to keep on keeping on! It could be that you feel somewhat stunted in your efforts, or you have been set back because of circumstance. If you are operating in God’s will, (and we know when we are) He will expect us to prevail to accomplish the purpose to which He has called us. Here’s where I put to practice Philippians 3:13,14 ESV

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Do not let the temperature prevent you from flourishing. Winters come and it can get pretty cold out there. Bundle up and bloom because someone needs to see what God is up to in your life. It may seem foolish to some but when God is at the helm and we are living out the calling He has placed upon us, we are not only fulfilled but it always brings Him glory!

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It’s a New Year…

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Happy New Year – Herrys Photos

Maybe like me you are pondering and wondering just what will be in store for this New Year. Not just for me, but also for our country and world. Will this be the year our Lord returns to take us home? Will we be able to continue to freely worship, unlike our brothers and sisters of the persecuted church? There are a lot of situations out there that are on the precipice of change today, and some are rather scary while others are welcomed. But naturally I am wondering how the year will unfold for my family’s lives.

As I look at the year ahead, I see an opportunity to correct things in my life that are out of alignment and in need of adjustment. This year I can set a determined course to walk in a different direction than I have previously. I have too many areas in my life that are screaming to be altered. I don’t like resolution thing mostly because I am tired of making and breaking them. I want to grow and be transformed, which will take some purposeful living on my part.

Isaiah 43 tells of God’s redemption of Israel and the housecleaning of its enemies as He prepared to wipe out Babylon. Through the prophet Isaiah, God declared that Israel should not look back but be ready for what He has in store for it. Verses 18 and 19 (from The Message translation) say, “‘Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.”

Looking back and dwelling on the could’a, would’a, should’as is a waste of time. It is also used by the enemy of our souls to keep us from embracing the new — which comes through a willingness to change and alter our way of thinking and doing. Getting out of the familiar and into the unknown. Is that hard for you? Well, it sure can be for me, but I am going to give it a try. If I am so busy looking backward, I can’t see what is right in front of me–the new road through the hard places and the refreshing pools that God gives us for our renewal.

Sounds all fine and good, doesn’t it? But seriously, it is time to rise, put aside the old and move into the new. Are you willing? Will you lay yourself on the altar (so to speak) and allow the Lord to cut away the diseased areas in your life? If there is bitterness, can He remove it as He breaks your hard heart and gives you a new heart that is soft toward those you have held in contempt for too long? Will you allow Him to fill the void in your heart that you continue to stuff with excess food, unhealthy relationships, excessive spending or busyness with other people’s lives and judgmental attitudes about others?

Let’s journey together and make this the year that we respond lovingly to the unlovely ones we all know. These are old patterns that God would love to expose in us so that we can move forward, instead of standing still as we grind ourselves deeper and deeper into a rut that seems too deep to get out of. Our God is able!

I can’t wait to see the outcome those responses will bring to those difficult situations. Let’s seek Him with all of our hearts so that His gentle hand of correction will turn us in the direction He desires for us to walk in. I say it all too often–this life is not about me and what I can get out of it. It is about serving Him so that others may know Him and the power of His Resurrection.

May you walk in His blessings and happy New Year!

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Abiding in Him

I have this little piece of wall art that hangs on my wall and it says ‘Abide in Him’.  Using wall art that include words or Scripture speak loudly of my convictions and beliefs.  But the word abide (in itself) is such a descriptive of the Spirit-filled life that I desire to live, yet struggle to attain.  

I was plowing through a book by Francis Chan, called “Forgotten God”, and in his convicting fashion I was challenged by one of my favorite chapters in the book of John, chapter 15.  Chan issues a challenge by asking a profound question, is my life too loud, to which I could readily say “yes it is!”.  Then Francis proceeds to encourage us to put down his book and pick up the Book and read a few chapters in the book of John.  Right to some of my favorites in John, chapters 14, 15 and 16.  

The verb “abide”, according to Merriam-Webster means to wait, endure without yielding, to bear patiently.  It also means to remain stable or in a fixed state and to continue in a place.  In John 15 where the picture of the ‘vine’ is used to describe our life in Christ–we being the branch, Christ being the vine and then the Father addressed as the vinedresser–John uses the word “abide” ten times: 

John 15:4-11 “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.”

Do you think maybe there is a point to be made here? There are ten references to the word abide in the verses above that are being used to drive home some profound points:

The imperative to remain in Christ;

We aren’t fruitful if we don’t;

If we refuse to abide in Christ we can be thrown away for we aren’t fruitful;

There is an invitation to remain in Christ’s love;

By walking in obedience we partake in His love.

So when I am restless, when I am struggling through (with my own resources) and forgetting that apart from Him I can really do nothing, instead of being frustrated with myself I really need to stop and remember that I am a partaker with Christ.  I really sell myself short and settle for less than His best by “trying” or “trying to do it myself”.  I am sure my Father is thinking “Oh foolish girl”, as I expend efforts that amount to little when in Him I can accomplish great things or at least what He desires and that spells success!  

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I don’t believe if you are a driven person that there is necessarily an easy way to submit your efforts for His peace that only comes from abiding in Him!  God desires that we would “remain stable or in a fixed state” by abiding in Him walking in the Spirit-filled life.  But from one who has been there…stop striving, try it and see.  Then you can appreciate these words from the Psalmist, “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!” Psalm 34:8 (ESV) Abiding in Him is where we fulfill the Spirit-filled life that God desires we live out for Him and His glory!

Father, I remember that this battle to ‘do’ in my own efforts is a winnable battle when I walk with you! I will make the choice today to let You lead via Your Spirit which is living in me! The rest that comes from giving You the reins of my life is well worth the concerted effort it takes to hand them over. So thank You Father for the gift of Your Holy Spirit who allows me to quit my striving by abiding in You!

 

 

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Holiday Madness!

Photo from the Daily Page - Madison, WI
Photo from the Daily Page – Madison, WI

It is Christmas time and for most of us the season begins around Thanksgiving.  We typically shift gears right after the turkey dinner into Christmas.  Of course if you are a television person you may have the tradition of watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  (A tradition since I was a young girl.)  I was nine when I moved to New York City and on my first Thanksgiving there I was treated to getting to see it in person!  That was exciting and chilly as I stood there watching, feeling quite small as I tried to see the floats go by.  So I have sometimes had that on in the morning background while cooking in the kitchen and specifically when my grandsons are home.  It truly jump-starts our holiday celebrations and can make me feel like decorating!

I can remember the days of late night baking, making and decorating that although nice to have, thoroughly exhausted me by the time Christmas actually came. I wasn’t really pondering the nativity scene. And with all that baking, no wonder I would put on several pounds throughout the end of November and month of December! No surprise that when the day came I was cranky and lacking energy from all the late nights, poor diet and no exercise. This makes me tired just thinking about it! Then the new year comes and we have to make all those resolutions that end up getting tossed aside after a few weeks or a month if we are really diligent.

Snowflake DividerSo how can we be kind to ourselves and those we love without over-taxing, over-spending and over-indulging ourselves? It is hard and I will be the first to admit that my will power is weak and wimpy this time of year! I guess one could shop and bake throughout the months leading up to Christmas but that typically doesn’t happen! So as I have been thinking about this I have some thoughts to share.

Over-taxing ourselves can lead to physical fatigue and then we succumb to sickness especially when we are around it. It is vital to keep the immune system boosted and fighting all those ickies that float around in the air and are on things we touch in public places! Sure we can carry our sanitizer with us but if we are taking care of ourselves then our immune system is able to do what God created it to do and ward off the ‘stuff’ that wants to invade our bodies.

Take care of yourself during this stress-filled time of year!  It seems that everything is heightened (the good and the negative) and we become emotionally drained.

  • Make sure to get lots of rest and try to eat healthy (sorry but that means to avoid sugar like the plague!)
  • Freely use your vitamin C (love that 1000 mg dose in an easily consumed package!  Stir into a little water and voila, it will go a long way throughout your day. (Just don’t take it too late in the evening or you won’t sleep!)
  • Stay hydrated.  Winter is always dry and most of our homes are more so in the closed winter months. Unless you live in the south!!! (I struggle with consuming water throughout the day but try.)
  • In the process of doing all you can do to stay healthy, visit my Zeal for Health page for information on supplements that take to keep me moving!

How is it that we know what is good for us but struggle to do it?  Sounds like the familiar words of Paul, “…for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate…” Even Saint Paul struggled to do the right thing. It is sometimes just a simple, ‘right now, I am going to make a conscious effort to do what is right’! You will be encouraged when you do. And we are reminded that we must take care of this temple God has given and that the Holy Spirit resides in, don’t neglect this!

Prince of PeaceWe all know that over-spending this time of year is typical. I don’t know about you but a gift-giving budget is just hard for me! One of my love languages is gifting so it is extra hard for me to reign in. However it helps to have a husband who is ultra conservative on matters like spending and so we are back and forth as I try to show him the “somewhere in the middle” range of spending:0) I have started to ask my kids and grandsons for a list. That way I can have a choice pricing-wisely and yet be able to gift them with something that they really would like to have. It is also nice if one can put funds aside throughout the year to use toward the gifting fund.

Gifting is a wonderful thing and we know that Jesus himself said in Acts 20:35 “that it is more blessed to give than to receive.” A few years back we decided that we would let our grandsons see giving done in the spirit of blessing those who don’t have. We looked through our Samaritan’s Purse catalog and let the boys choose a gift to give like a dozen ducks or chickens and we even purchased a goat to be given in their name another year. The whole gift thing should be focused on the fact that we give because God first gave to us His Son Jesus! We have certainly carried that to the extreme!

Snowflake DividerThen the over-indulging issue! This tends to be one of my worst sins. I have been completely defeated in this area for way too long! However I had my best year ever a couple of years ago and I am hoping to continue it this year. I confess my besetting sin, gluttony! Not a very nice word to admit to but I am going to call it what it is!

Author Dee Brestin, relates ‘gluttony’ to idol worship and I agree that we can let food replace our need for God in many instances. In the word it says in Psalm 34:8, “O taste and see that the Lord is good…”  I am determining to replacing my excessive food intake with precious time with the One I love. Not only does the consuming interrupt my Godward thinking but look at the prep time in cooking! It is time that a good portion could be given to my Father who waits for me to come and join Him in sweet fellowship! Not to mention Paul’s words again from 1 Corinthians 6:19,20 “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own?”  He issues the call to “glorify God in your body.” Yikes, I guess for me it will only be a couple of ‘goodies’ and a nice meal or two when the family is home and keeping it as fresh as possible. It is difficult though, I love to cook and feed!  Now I can turn my “feeding” into spiritual food!

Mary Joseph & Baby Jesus
Now This is Peace! From Jesus of Nazareth

Be kind to yourself and those that have to put up with you. Be a joy to those around you and spend your quality time with your Father. You might even enjoy participating in an Advent reading throughout the weeks before Christmas morning. Then, celebrate Christ’s birth!

Celebrating Christmas the way it is meant to be celebrated will help us to be equipped to meet the needs of those around us. Those who need to be introduced to the Savior. Click To Tweet

Now that’s Christmas!

 

Snowflake Divider

 

 

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When Your Past Prevents Your Future…

Maybe like me you have looked at amazing women and thought about just how much they have it all together! And then you remember, well I could never do that or go there because see…I have this dark history that used to remind me that yup, you are invalidated because of your “stuff”.  For too long I let my past prevent my future. I allowed the darkness to overshadow the glowing ember within me that was just waiting for the deep breath to inhale, ignite and begin to grow that light inside of me to a blaze.

Regret was one of the enemies of my soul. I was so filled with regret from the things I allowed myself to partake in as a young teen that shame trumped every attempt at my climbing out of the pit my self-destructive lifestyle had dug. I was living what I deserved falling into abusive relationships, because I wasn’t worthy of anything else. I truly thought that my life was worthless and that I would never know true happiness.

I became a Christian in thanks to Christian media and while watching the 700 Club as a young troubled 30 year old mom of three and in a live-in relationship. It was in thanks to the program’s willingness to show their testimony segments that I realized that maybe, just maybe there was hope for me and my very messy past. So I responded to the call from Pat Robertson to receive Christ by praying with him that day in 1984 and I accepted Jesus as my Savior.

It would be wonderful to say that everything changed that day! And spiritually it did, however it took thirteen years for me to struggle through my past regrets. After getting myself involved in my husband’s church (I married the guy I was living with in 1986) and had started to attend the church he grew up in so that he would feel compelled to come back too. At that time it sure seemed as though it was a ‘do good’ church full of people who were so good that I could in no way feel comfortable as I compared myself to them because of this past I was dragging along. So I couldn’t get close to people in the church for fear they may see my baggage and judge me for it. It took some time but I began to see that many were like me, being very good at wearing masks.

My tendency is to please because I don’t want another rejection! I have been rejected it seems forever. Serious rejections like from the father of my firstborn who got me pregnant when I was just 17, then refused to be responsible for us. And the guy who convinced me to abort our baby because he wasn’t ready to handle another kid just yet…Like relationships that were always based on what they could get from me and then they would leave me. I always gave myself away thinking that was how I could hold on to someone. Oh I was so young, needy and looking for love in all the wrong places.

I am grateful to God for allowing me to get to the place where I began to question if this was all there was to this ‘Christian’ life? A place that brought me to my knees.  And then on my face in a desperate search and desire to know Him, really know Him in a deeper way. I surrendered my yucky marriage, my troubled children and my pitiful life and begged God to do something. It was then that God met me in this pathetic state of being and where He rescued me.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay.

And he set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God;

Many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.”

A portion of Scripture that I have laid claim to and have called my own from Psalm 40:1-3! I am eternally thankful for His redeeming love that was the healing balm poured over me so that I would know that I do have purpose and that He saved me from my past. That is how I am now able to open up and let others know that they don’t have to be silent and that God is more than able to heal our wounded beginnings. My love for Him is immense!

I love this song from Point of Grace and often sing it when I share my story:

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Let Your Love be Genuine

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credit to Chat in the Hat

A friend of mine and a loved one of mine are so good at picking up on the needs of others.  It amazes me how a segment of their life is all about using their gift of mercy to come along side of  those who have been in tough places and have real physical and spiritual  needs.  These women are an inspiration to me and they truly walk out the verse in Micah 6:8 that is really a verse for all of us!

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

After reading through the minor prophets in the Old Testament, I came away with knowing how important it is to stay connected to the Father and then walk out my love for Him by loving others.  If Jesus said in six different verses in the New Testament that we are to “…love one another…” then I think it is a pretty important point to pick up on and to live out!

  • John 13:34: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have love you, you also are to love one another.

    John 13:35:  “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

    John 15:12:  “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

    John 15:17:  “These things I command you, so that you will love one another.”

    1 John 3:11:  “For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.”

    2 John 1:5:  “And now I ask you, dear lady–not as though I were writing you a new commandment, but the one we havce had from the beginning–that we love one another.”

  • Are you getting the picture?  This is for the body of Christ today, right now! How are you doing with your part of the words above from Jesus?  I know we all don’t have the gift of mercy but let me ask you how you are doing with issues toward another?  You might be gifted in teaching or helps but if you are not living out the above “commandment” are you being effective?  Nothing we speak or do without the inspiration that comes from genuine care or concern amounts to a hill of beans if it isn’t lived out in us first.  I have heard it said that our pets know instinctively who is a dog or cat lover.  And that can be applied to people as well.  If we love each other and sincerely care, we will accomplish what Christ calls us to because we have taken seriously the mandate to “love one another“. 

    Lord, I know there are people that I struggle to love and I want that to change so that I can walk in Your ways, not my own.  Please stir in me a desire to let go of any misunderstandings and really desire to put love into practice.  I can call out to you when it gets difficult and if I listen to You, You will show me how!  Paul says it well in Romans that we are to “If possible, so far as it depends on you (me), live peaceably with all.”  When I purpose to live letting love be my motivation, you can use me to touch lives with Your words and minister to the hurting!

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A New Kind of Normal at My House!

Mom & Elsa
Momma and her grandpup Elsa

Have you ever wondered and asked, “How in the world did I get from here to there?” Boy oh boy, I am shaking my head lately and asking God, “Huh, God, how in the world did you do that?”

Every day over these past few months I find myself amazed as I look around my home and the changes that have taken place and I am in awe! I suppose there is a part of me that has realized that life just ain’t what it used to be—not at all!—but also it is a new kind of comfortable. As I try to find the pattern for this new kind of normal in my home.

In July my sister brought my mom up for another ‘few month’s’ summer stay (or so mom was told.) My sister and I had been discussing that if she could stay up here for good it would be better for my sister and for my mom from the stand point that she would have more one on one time with her love ones. (My sister has a very pressing job that takes way too many of her hours!) While she was still here we looked at and discussed some options for where our mom could stay that would be financially feasible and the best fit for her and her minimal needs.

Fast forward to late August…mom was informed that she would be staying up here instead of returning to Orlando where she has lived for almost 18 years. We have asked her over the years when she stays in her ‘trailer’ for summer months to consider staying permanently to which she abruptly retorts ‘no way, too cold for me!’ You see this little five foot tall woman is barely 84 pounds! No body fat to help keep her warm. However…she is here and for her, this was a pretty rude awakening for her to “be told” that she would not be returning ‘home’.

Fast forward to October…my mom moves in with us!  And really, except for the cold, she is in a good place. Enough said.

This is a move that would never have taken place if not for a husband who has a soft spot for elderly mom! He was pretty close to his own mother who hasn’t been here for quite a few years now. So he was 100% on board with having her move in with us or believe me it wouldn’t have happened. We all know how the son-in-law, mother-in-law thing goes and the animosity that can build in those situations. No, not my guy who has been over the top kind and loving (well he can be a bit gruff at times but she knows how to read him) not to mention willing to adjust to accommodate her needs!

August end and September kept me very busy, trying to figure out where to put a room full of stuff so mom would have her own space. This and a few cupboards in the kitchen and pantry and drawers in the bathroom…oh my, what a chore! But…we have accommodated this dear woman as best as we can and she has now been in residence with us since October 10th.

For the most part I am over-the-top thrilled to have her here with us. My mom and I haven’t ever been this close (well maybe when I was a child, then it was just the two of us!) I am thrilled to be here for her, to ‘minister’ to her needs and have her see Christ in me, my hope of glory. And I want to make this adjustment for her as smooth as possible and it is going well. But there is also a part of me that looking back, forced me into an adjustment I might never have been ‘ready’ for. Caring for an elder person is time consuming. It is so not about me and my needs right now which means I find myself doing a lot of things quite differently. So in the process of laying me down to take up the needs of someone else has—let’s say—been very interesting!

Some of you know exactly what I am going through and some of you might say that you would never get in a situation like this. But as I talk to my Father about this big adjustment I have heard Him speak to my heart that this isn’t about Kimberly…this is to show Joan who I am. I have made the decision to lay down 80% of my ‘me’ time to take care of, minister to and just be there for this little woman of 83. She doesn’t know Jesus! One of the biggest confirmations that we were doing the right thing was one evening when she looked over at me and said, “You know, this really feels like family” and I had to hide my tears.

I may be doing things I haven’t done in years or never done before, like watching the “Voice” (a weekly TV program mom loves to watch), or rubbing her back with lotions and fixing a different kind of menu because of her own dietary needs. But I know that God has this all planned out. For such a time as this my calling is to be Jesus to my little momma.

Father, sometimes you call us to go to the ends of the earth to bring the Good News to those who don’t know You. And sometimes you call us to adjust our comfort level in our own home to bring the Good News to one who doesn’t know You. When we surrender our wants, desires and plans, you pour out grace where needed and help us to make the uncomfortable adjustments to accommodate all you are doing in the midst of a ‘new kind of normal. Help me to continue embracing the change and trust the outcome for Your glory and in Your Name!

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Going ‘Round the Mountain

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Love Joy Peace Faith

Do you ever find yourself sick and tired of going around and around the mountain and making the same mistakes over and over again and again?  Wow, I sure do and I get so frustrated with myself when I do thinking ‘haven’t I gotten this lesson yet?’ Thankfully this has ignited my desire to draw closer to God.  I knew that God had something so much sweeter for my life but that I would have to jump some hurdles to get there. 

For me, it was a matter of learning to lay down my pride, and acknowledge that I could no longer rely on my own resources to keep from making the same mistakes over and over again.  Don’t you just hate it when you are in repeat mode?  You self-talk asking God to never let it happen again and then boom, repeat.  It is embarrassing to continually do, react or forge ahead and then realize that you have been on this pathway before!  For instance, my marriage was not going to improve unless I was willing to work on me.  My tendency to be judgmental and critical  of others was not going to stop until I realized that I had to make a very purposeful choice not to look at others comparing myself with them and criticize.  My ministry was not going to go forth until I was willing to be honest with my struggles and work on allowing the Lord to refine me in the furnace of His love, being content knowing that He would use me right where I was.  You see, God really wants us to flourish and grow and go forth in His name and for His purposes.  And finally that I would stay committed to relationships with Him, my husband, children, work and friends to the best of my abilities and most of the time.  Not in my strength but in His. 

Where God was and is concerned, I had to make a choice (and daily make that choice) to spend  time with Him first and foremost!  This is where I have learned the answers to the hard things involving all my relationships.  Learning to love my husband in a fresh way unlike I never had before.  Friends, it has changed our relationship!  I suppose realizing that I cannot control anybody but me is nothing really new but God made it fresh for me as I focused on what I could do to better our relationship instead of expecting and demanding that my husband needed to change.  I am only able to change me!!!  With my children it was similar in that I could not control their lives like I used to try to do to keep them from learning the hard way like I had to do. They have to learn their life lessons in the same way I have, through their own choices and mistakes. 

Work was merely a matter of being content where God had placed me.  I am not one who enjoys confrontation and a few years back we had a lot of confrontation going on and frankly I wanted out.  Not realizing that God was up to some big and exciting things that I could have very well missed out on.  So every interesting job posting that became available in town I would apply for.  But God certainly had something else in mind.  He has kept me at Psalm FM Radio to serve in the capacity of the office administration and on air for over 23 years. And I have now been part of a very exciting ministry including the “Vertical Connection”, my radio program.  For almost ten years I have hosted a two hour radio program to encourage listeners to draw near to the Father’s heart.  A side note of thanks to a former employee who saw something in me that I never dreamed I could do, and I thank Gene!  We just never know where God is going to take us and sometimes He takes us kicking and screaming while saying “I can’t do that!” 

These tests and trials that come through our relationships with others, whether they be Christian or not, really matter to God.  We are members of a body.  We are not all the same (thankfully) and we have so much to offer each other but more importantly people are the litmus test of getting this God-walk right!  I know we are all in process and we do not have it perfect this side of glory, but, how we treat each other is crucial from the stand point that the outside world looks at us in expectation that we know how to do it right.  I think the song says that “They will know we are Christians by our love…”  and we do know how to do it right.  But the question is will I choose to do it the way I have been instructed and shown from God Himself through Christ? Loving God and loving others? Or will I continue to circle around the mountain again and again never taking the next step upward? 

We can always justify our actions whether anger, jealousy, injustice or whatever other reason that is out there.  But as my dear friend and I were sharing recently, the bottom line is we are responsible for making the right choice.  By doing so we deny the flesh and by doing this we allow the flow of the healing balm of reconciliation to be applied to whatever the offense was that tore us apart. Our Father and Creator, is fully aware of our short comings and struggles.  And although we will continue to make wrong choices it is certain that we will make less wrong and many more correct as we purpose to serve and spend time allowing the Lord to change who we are into the image of His Son Jesus.

I know how hard it is, believe me, but for me I am now at a place where I have tasted the sweet rewards of my Father when I do it right and I would rather take that next step up the mountain than let my frustrations and disappointments continue to hold me back because of repeating the same mistake time and time again, keeping me at the baseline.  Henceforth, going round and round the mountain!

Ephesians 5:1,2

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

Father, You know the sorrow that plagues me when I mess up.  I can only imagine the disappointment that You must feel when I have to take the same test over and over again.  I truly have set my sites on You and I really want to show others just how much You love them by the way I live my life and treat others.  To be Your representative I ask that You give me the courage to change me and I surrender my frustrations and all that I think is justified in exchange for Your grace and ask that You would help me to humbly wear and put on Your love for others…in Jesus’ Name.

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And When I Am Old I Will…

Sudden realities are interesting to say the least. I’m certain that I’m not the only one who reflects and then wonders what’s next on the journey of life. But what I didn’t expect in my speculating was a reversal of the norm, because even today at my age I often wonder what I’m going to do when I grow up. No, I took a very new and different road this time. One I had never been on before. I had an epiphany and a reality check regarding my possible time left on this earth as we know it today. 

Far be it from me to be concerned or fearful of aging and growing old. After all, many things are so much better with age, cheese, wine, and what about those things we call classics? Worth a bundle today! And look what the Word has to say about growing old, I’ve read those verses and think someday, I will be wise and have beautiful snow white hair, like it says in Proverbs 16:31,

“A gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness.” 

Well my pondering was a mixed bag of coulda, woulda, shoulda’s and now…what remains? I don’t mean to say that I was crying the blues and feeling all was lost but…there was definitely a cap on what was once ‘the sky’s the limit.’ Do you know where I’m going here? Some of you will of course identify immediately–because you have experienced what I am referring to–but some of you are going to think, what in the world is she talking about! It is for you that I will explain. For the first time I pondered what the finish line was going to look like. And the reality that oh my, there really is not a whole lot of time left and how can I now make the time that is left really count for Christ’s sake? Remember the time when you thought that 25 or 30 years was a really long time? Not anymore. (I think that means that I have crossed over.) 

I remember hearing someone on the news recently mention how Ann Graham Lotz, the famous preacher’s daughter, say that should she live out a normal life (she was 60 at the time) that she expects to see the return of Jesus Christ. Wow, what a statement to make. This is quite remarkable, even as we see the face of America “change” it certainly seems as though we are witnessing first hand the set up for the final round. After all, look what it says in Matthew 24:6:

“You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars.
See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.“ 

Don’t you appreciate the part of the verse that says to see that we are not frightened? It indeed isn’t the end but I think we are on the precipice, now able to begin to peak over the top and view the valley of what’s ahead.

So all this to say to those of you who still think that 20 to 30 years is forever a long ways off, for now it is. But let me add that even so, Christ could return at any time now. And that being said, have we really given our all for Him? Have we taken up the commission to follow after Him and to be the salt and light around us? Maximizing the opportunities that He sends our way? Or do we just look at what we have and think thank God I am where I am and I sure hope those others can make it. What soul is out there that needs to have extended to them–through you–Jesus’ hands and feet? I really like Casting Crowns’ song “If We Are the Body”

 It just says it so succinctly, wouldn’t you agree?

So the next time you think to yourself ah, that is way down the road, just remember that every year that now ticks by is like counting backwards, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20…and friends, there are a whole lot of people out there who do not have a clue. Don’t wait until you retire to do a mission outreach project. Why not make your neighborhood your “mission” outreach? Do you know just how many people out there need to hear a kind word because their life is in a shambles? Or, how about those children who desperately need a positive influence in their life? Believe me, I am speaking to myself too. Surely there is a way to make a difference in your sphere of influence. And it doesn’t have to be a BIG thing. Just tell someone the difference that Christ has made in your life. It might just be God’s perfect timing as you provide a solution to their pain, frustration or confusion!

Let’s make it count! My life verse is from Philippians 3:13,14

“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” 

I see the goal and it’s just ahead…

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