Tag Archives: Discouragement

Forever and Ever…Amen

SorrowfulDo you believe that God can work in the hard stuff life doles out? I have lived it and maybe you as well. Please stop by where I am guest posting at Holly Barrett’s “Testimony Tuesday” to share the goodness of the Lord! He will meet us when we ask.

This post was featured at Holly Barrett’s Testimony Tuesday as a guest blog on April 14, 2015, however that link no longer available.

It was a year…a year when many issues came to the surface and I was forced to take a serious look at myself and my marriage covenant. I felt hopeless, bound to a yucky body, a yucky marriage and a difficult son. To be perfectly honest, I wanted out of it all and I began to ponder the simplicity of just calling it quits on life.

When I was just an early teen in NYC, I couldn’t handle life then either and being in an unstable state of mind I downed my mom’s Valium and hoped to never wake up…but I did. I was rescued only to find out that I couldn’t escape my problems by just taking pills, or drugs, or alcohol or by delving into relationships. I just wanted to be loved!

But this time it was different. I was in my early forties, I was a Christian woman and had been for about 13 years but I was also disillusioned with life and my ‘faith’. Somehow I was deceived in my looking for love in all the wrong places I thought all these peripherals could make life liveable. A man who was stable, who could help me with my wild and crazy kids, a new home, a satisfying job in Christian radio and friends, I finally had some friends!

I had been recently hired at our local Christian radio station for full-time work as a bookkeeper and being the “Words of Affirmation” girl that I am, I was getting the strokes. Kimberly, you are doing a great job! Keep up the great work. You see, we had lost our manager from a tragic accident the previous fall and jobs were shifted around allowing me to begin full-time work.

Going to work became my escape. I could escape the craziness of home life that involved an angry husband, teenagers with one being extremely problematic.

At home I began to hate who I was becoming. I had started perimenopause and if you have ever been there you know exactly what I’m talking about…it stinks! I hated what my body was doing putting on excessive amounts of weight and water retention. I didn’t want anything to do with being intimate with my husband which sure didn’t help anything! We were all a mess! If either of us had uttered leaving, it wouldn’t have taken much for one of us to just go!

One night on my way home from working late (learning curve), I knew I would be hollered at for a late supper and who’s going to run kids to where and pickup whom…yup, I could just hear it. As I pulled my car in the garage. A song came on that broke my heart, reminding me of who is in control and beckoning me to remember my covenant. I clung to my steering wheel with tears running all over and listened…God was speaking to me through the words of John Starnes song, “I Plead the Blood”.

I remembered my covenant and I plead the blood over my family and home asking the Lord to help me be true to my words that I would never, ever again divorce! And He did just that…as I  prayed that the Lord would my husband joy and give me a love for him that had waned through years of disappointments.

Soon after I heard the Lord prompt me to pray for my guys (husband and two sons, one of whom was then in a locked treatment facility) to go to Promise Keepers in Minneapolis. So I did and my husband and oldest were able to go! It was at this juncture in his life that he recommitted his life to the Lord!

Friends, things did begin to gradually change. My husband does smile and laugh and can be joy-filled at times. He has become a man of God who is growing closer and closer to the Lord and to me. As for me, I would say that I love him more than I ever have! And we will celebrate 29 years in October!

I know my story isn’t like yours, but I do know that my God is the same as yours. I am not going to try to visit your scenario and tell you what to do. I am however going to remind you that He never changes and that He can be trusted with whatever impossibility we are willing to give to Him.

In Matthew 6:33 we are reminded of where to turn in our times of need. And in Philippians 4:6,7 we are instructed to be anxious for nothing, to pray about everything, and to be thankful in all things. When we are obedient to respond his way we are filled with the peace that even passes ALL understanding! Will you trust Him?

KD cropped sqSince 1990, Kimberly Nyborg, has worked at Northern Minnesota’s Christian radio station. She has served as host of a daily two hour music program for Psalm FM radio since 2004. Kimberly is involved in Women’s ministry and she speaks for various women’s events around the Midwest. She makes her home with her husband Jerry, in the “Icebox of the Nation”, International Falls, MN.

www.kimberlynyborg.com
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Waiting, Waiting…and Waiting!

Do you like to wait? I mean, in long lines, traffic jams, water to boil, you know WAIT? I really don’t know if there is anyone who likes to wait! It is probably harder for most than not…and I think harder for men than women (maybe.) For this girl it is soooo difficult and when I want something I really want it now. But I have recently learned a valuable lesson in waiting…this is where God works on us! The waiting makes us very uncomfortable yet this is when we realize that we can’t do anything about it! Have you been there?

Over the last almost two months I have waited with baited breath to see the outcome of this website. It is hard because I couldn’t post or fiddle with the appearance or well, do a thing with this project. But what I did do was really pray. Pray for Amanda, the designer who was trying to learn about me (long distance I might add) so that she could put something together that would reflect my heart, my ministry and what I have to offer as God’s representative. You see I believe that God brought Amanda, along at just the right time to use her talents to help me!  She sensed that I was pulling my hair out. Okay, I think I may have posted that in a group we both belonged to on facebook, where I expressed my frustration and cries for help.

You see, I like to think I can do it all and I really do try. I built my own original website and then several blogs and I thought I could do this on my own like usual. However, I couldn’t. That was a difficult place to find myself, having to admit that I couldn’t make it work. But that too was a lesson for me to learn and I believe right where God wanted me. When we think we can do everything then we are basically saying we don’t need one another with our gifts and talents. When I think of all the time I spent fiddling around trying to build my own site, knowing just enough to be dangerous, I mentally calculated way too many hours with nothing to show (or at least far from where I desired to be!) God didn’t intend for us to do it all by ourselves but to rely on one another and on Him. That is just what I began to do and I have to say it was so good to let Amanda do what she is gifted to do and bless me by the outcome of her designing!

It is a good thing that I am still learning those lessons from the field! It is my hope that you will find this website a pleasant place to visit while you are here! And I pray it would be used for God’s glory as I do what He has called me to do in ministry.

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Disappointments in Life…

Are there times in your life when you thought things would turn out so much differently than they have?  Times that have left you feeling a bit hollow inside and terribly disappointed? Like when a child grows up and grows away from the Lord instead of toward Him, or your dreams of being a missionary went south because for whatever reason be it money or relationship it became the wrong timing?  How about that first love that set your dreams on fire and then after a time the relationship fizzled and instead of fulfilling your dreams they brought about disappointments. And maybe it was the perfect job that you have waited for with all the amenities you could hope for and you were certain you had all the qualifications but you didn’t make the final round and someone else stepped into the position you longed for. 

Sometimes there are disappointments that totally change the course of your life.  That familiar saying “It just isn’t fair” can light upon you and pull you right down into the pit. Friend, I want you to know something and it isn’t anything new or profound but, it is truth and that is that God, in spite of our tendency to walk our own way, really is in control. Kind of like we are the vehicle but the Lord is our steering wheel.  Oh, I know He really does allow us to do our own thing, because He loves us so much!  He wants us to love Him back without restraints and of our own accord.  After all, how would it feel if your children only returned your affection because they were supposed too or your spouse because you had to ask? 

So what do we do with the disappointments in life?  We all have them to one degree or another and really, how we respond to those disappointments determines whether we will move forward or lag behind.  I would have to believe that like me you want to soar and draw closer and closer to the Lord.  Your reaction to these realities sets the course for the next leg of your life journey. 

Our journey in Christ takes the focus off of us and puts it on Him!  Every single thing that happens to us must glorify the Father.  I love that verse in Matthew 5:16  that says we are to let our light so shine before men that they would see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven.  And just for fun here it is in the Message paraphrase:

Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. 

When the disappointments come, those around us need to see how we handle them because after all there are plenty enough to go around in everyone’s life!  I recently received another hit and the rug was pulled out from under my feet.  Yes, for a moment I fell and hurt myself and briefly slipped into the pit of despair, but…I have a circle of friends that let me know that they care and they encircled me and prayed for me.  I am slowly getting back up on my feet again.  I hate when this happens but it does and there isn’t a one of us who doesn’t know what if feels like.   

I would like to give you some things to think about when your dark moment comes.

  • Don’t keep it hidden!  Go to your trusted prayer partners and yes, make yourself vulnerable and share just how upset you are and let them minister to you!
  • Ponder and pray when you hear a word for you even if it isn’t necessarily comfortable.  God will provide the comfort because He is the God of all comfort!
  • Set your face like flint not to revisit those debilitating emotions but focus on the truth! You will not move ahead until you do and the more often you revisit the deeper the pit gets.
  • Remember, God is your healer and He wants to bring you gently back to the firm ground you were on before.  Forgiveness is the key to moving forward and friend, I know just how difficult this one is but I also have tasted the sweetness when the enemy of our soul is defeated and forgiveness cuts the chains of our heart loose.
  • Do not get comfortable in the pain of your emotional battle.  God has given us the tools to get out of the pit.

The battle is in our minds and here is the Scripture that can help us work through the enemy’s ‘mosh pit’:

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…”2 Corinthians 10:5

Unless we get our minds set on the truth we will become wounded as we are banged around by the lies and untruth that the enemy wants to use to render us useless to our Father.  Draw the line in the sand and do not go there.  If you have, get yourself in the truth of the Word and let that truth bath and comfort you and bring healing to your mind, body and soul! 

Father, too many times I have seen how ineffective I become when the enemy comes in like a flood!  But I am also so thankful to know I don’t have to go it alone and that In Your truth I am able to raise the standard that defeats the enemy of my soul.  You have provided brothers and sisters in Christ who thankfully become my help in times of trouble. Thank You for Your love for me and for gently picking me up when I become Your wounded warrior.  I choose to walk in the truth today, in Jesus’ name. 

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Identifying Blocked Goals in Our Life

Strongholds, although this word can be seen as a save place or refuge, it is also the opposite where a certain mindset is used to hold us captive and when used as in the latter a stronghold just might be preventing us from living the abundant life.

Let’s begin by thinking about blocked goals. You know, the times when we set our sights on something like marrying our high school sweetheart but then he ran off with your best friend.  Or maybe like me you always wanted to be a teacher, even as a little girl, but things got in the way and when you finally decided to go to college your husband said no (not to college but to traveling over 200 miles each day to attend classes.) And maybe your child had such a caring heart for others and you really saw them becoming a missionary someday but they got into trouble along the way and have yet to find their way back into the church body. These are things that can really take the wind out of our sails and cause some deep-seated resentment toward God or others. The story of my prodigal has served to teach me many lessons that have been extremely painful and even drove me to temporarily delve into unbelief and hopelessness. 

My youngest son was difficult from the get-go. By kindergarten he was already having problems on the bus and with all authority figures. It is a long story but to bring you up to speed and when I suffered the biggest disappointment was over six years ago now. While sitting in jail and under my influence, he opted to see if the judge would let him go to Teen Challenge, in hopes of getting the help he needed to get his life straightened out. The judge court ordered him there and we were holding our breath thinking that this is it, this kid is finally going to turn things around. Teen Challenge is a twelve-month plus program that I really do believe in because they have proven very successful at helping anyone who is ready to help themselves recover from whatever it is that got them in the program! My son pulled himself out after seven and a half months and it was just like I was socked in the gut. I just knew this was the answer for my guy and that it would bring him back to the Lord and I was devastated. I wanted to throw my arms in the air and tell God that I give up, that’s it and that he is hopelessly lost. I really hope to never revisit this place again. 

Let me say that pitfalls like the blocked goal described above can turn into your times of preparation!  It can be a time of tilling the hardened soil around the heart. In a Bible study that I did many years ago called “Trials, Don’t Resent them as Intruders” the author, Juanita Purcell said this and it has stuck with me:

“Faith does not grow on a smooth road without obstacles.  However, we must view trials as steppingstones—not stumbling blocks.  Each trial we pass through should help us climb a little higher and draw us closer to Christ.”

We all have dreams that have been soured. And my prodigal’s situation is a perfect example of obvious disappointment. It is situations like this that the enemy uses us to render us hopeless! When we are in a hopeless mode it can lead to depression and depression is many times anger turned inward, a blocked goal. The plan didn’t develop the way that I thought it should have or would have if only…He had taken the road I knew would bring healing to his wounded spirit. What I found though, was that this was a lesson for me. You see God wanted me to know Who was in charge. And it wasn’t me! 

I am very grateful for an amazing little group of people who I pray with almost every week and we have met for going on eleven years. They are my prayer partners and accountability group and I thank God for them often. They played a big role in helping me to get back to believing that God would make a way where there seems to be no way.  For a good couple of months it was like I was numb. With their tough love and words of encouragement I soon found myself back on the journey of faith. It is certainly easy to see how I could have continued on the downward spiral of unbelief and become very bitter and angry. I could have missed out on walking in my kingdom purpose. 

Faith is where I need to rest when it comes to my goals being prohibited. 

Hebrews 11:1 (NKJ)

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Do I trust God with the unknown?  Can I trust Him when circumstances take a different path than I anticipated?  Will I be able to admit that I am not in control and that there is Someone much greater and more trustworthy than I could ever be?  Who knows the beginning and the end and what is best? 

Father, I am so guilty of trying to step in and take charge but then so disappointed when my way didn’t quite turn out as I expected.  What I need to do is take a deep breath and then open the Word and look at the many times You were faithful to those whom You called Your own.  Faithful even when they didn’t deserve Your favor but Your judgement.  It is rock solid truth that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.  Right now I am choosing to trust in You.

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Bearing One Another’s Burdens

SorrowfulToday I am burdened for some people that I love and admire and really look to as friends that can help me to walk a deeper walk with my Father. 

Today I prayed that these friends would stand up to the enemy and tell him right where to go just like Jesus responded to Peter when he tried to rebuke Jesus who then responded “get thee behind me satan…” 

Today is just one of those days where I see the wearing down of the saints and my heart hurts when my circle of friends is hurting.

Today was a day of intercession for these ones who are battling on the front lines but getting very weary from battle wounds. 

Today I stood in the gap and and prayed that God would intervene before it is too late…

Today on the station I heard a profound statement from one of our feature vignettes who asked “Do you know why I am still married?” then responded “Only because of my fear of the Lord”. 

Today, I wonder if I fear God enough to be obedient to His call on my life, in whatever capacity He calls me to.

Today, I really want to renew my covenant to the Lord that no matter how…no matter what…no matter why…I will be obedient…even if…this is hard because right now it is easy to say I would never but…when in the valley of darkness, the fiery trial, the pain and hurt, even if…would I hold on? Would I bite the bullet and hang in there? Despite the world view, the appearance of common sense, the pressures of those who have gone through and taken the plunge and suffered the consequences and are living with their decisions…

Today, I will take one day at a time. Today I am strong. Tomorrow I might be weak and I will need help to keep standing firm against all the odds. I just can’t look too far ahead but will step one day at a time with my eyes as fixed as they can be and my heart steadfast and assured that Father loves me and will guide me into tomorrow where once again I will rise and take His hand as He guides me once more through the next day, then hopefully the next…

Tonight I go to bed weary from my burden but certain that God has heard the brokenness of my struggling friends and I can trust that He is near for His word tells me in Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I can rest…

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