Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? You are in the midst of bleak surroundings and is seems like your world is suddenly growing smaller?

Last week I felt like I was sliding down a slippery slope…let’s call it self-pity. Monday wasn’t a pretty day. Although, I didn’t realize just how much until that afternoon when a call came. A loved one had been injured.

My mind began to race with many imagined scenarios. Ugh, how in the world am I going to take care of two olders, work, clean (ha, that ain’t happening these days), tend to the things that my better half wouldn’t be able to do and still find time to be me? Good grief, the shroud of doubt began to cover my normally upbeat demeanor and I quickly slipped downward.

There was only one thing that was keeping me afloat…I was determined to be thankful. Our anniversary was the next day and I still had a husband! I wasn’t ready to be a widow, no way! Not only that, I felt certain he wasn’t going to be an invalid!

However, the fears began to nag at my thoughts. Oh, my, a snowstorm on Friday and who was going to shovel us out if we get the snow the forecast was predicting? Guessing that somehow I would make it work.

All right Kimberly, where is your faith? Thankfully, we didn’t get much snow and I managed just fine, shoveling was easy. I got out of the driveway and to work. Oh yes, the week continued with two appointments for my little momma while running home to make lunch for the other invalid, run back to work to finish the afternoon and then to the store to pick up some groceries and pills and argh…I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe! To top it off my guy wasn’t feeling well at all, blasted pain pills!

I had to draw a line in the sand and purpose to maintain a thankful heart, telling myself that I must, feel like it or not! Click To Tweet My loved one wasn’t doing very well and a trip to ER was forthcoming on Saturday. At that point, I realized that was okay because maybe he would get some answers and a solution to the current situation. And he did! The better part of that day he actually got to get out of the house and could breathe some fresh air.

Wow, did that weekend go quickly. Apart from making a dinner and doing some laundry, it felt as if I accomplished nothing! So grateful for our “good neighbors” who came and shoveled for me as I was leaving for church. And he also got my guy’s vehicle started, thawed out and replaced his dwindling battery (plagued by not starting when it should!) Then he returned it, putting it in the garage. Boy is wonderful to have good neighbors, what a blessing! (Thankful, yes, I am remembering.)

The Holy Spirit Ministered to Me…

Monday morning up and running, fixing breakfast, getting Mr. situated so I could get ready for work. And that’s when I fell apart. All weekend I had been humming and singing a few of the lyrics of Gracefully Broken by Matt Redman and Tasha Cobbs. I know it was the Holy Spirit who prompted me to grab my tablet and close the door to the bathroom and let that song minister to my broken spirit. Oh, my Lord, does He use songs to work in my heart so often.  Well, that song had me unable to put makeup on because the tears were streaming down my checks. So I just closed my eyes, worshiped and once again, gave Him all I had, a weak and pitiful me who had succumbed to letting my faith waiver.

I'm gonna tell you, girls, that stuff happens when we open our broken hearts up to the Lord and allow Him to apply the loving balm of Gilead to our wounds. It's like He massages our hearts back to life...like He once again breathes life into our… Click To Tweet I don’t like that weakened state when I find myself there. He lets me become undone, but doesn’t leave me there. I know this was just what was needed, to be reminded of His faithfulness when I let mine run dry. I then remember, He isn’t going to leave me in the ash pit wallowing in self-pity. That is NOT what He created me for…no, He rescued me from that years ago.

His greater purpose for me is once again flowing through my bloodstream and I once again feel alive. Thanks to my morning worship time, in my bathroom, soaked in tears. There He whispered to my heart…”Kimberly, it is going to be alright. I am caring for YOU and your loved ones right now. My love for you is your ever-present strength, so call upon Me at any time. You are mine and I love you!” Oh my, what a Father I have. Sigh…I just had to stop, take a deep breath and once again count my blessings.

God Always works Things for My Better Good…

It is times like these that are used as stepping stones to draw us closer to Him. Right now as I write this I envision when we as parents have to be lovingly stern with our children. But then afterward, we grab that child of ours and we hold them so close enveloping them with our cloak of love. That was me and my Father that Monday morning as He loved me back to life.

Oh, friend, life and it’s unexpected company can really throw us the curve balls, can’t it. But our Father, He is ever with us and always working it together for our good! I saw you bristle a bit there…it is just that it is true!

Don’t resist the Father when He allows circumstance to shape and mold us to be more like Him. The key is taking our focus off of us and putting it where it belongs, on Him. 

The reality is that at the time it “feels” like He has turned His back on us. We use that phrase, “How could you let this happen to us?” But we can’t see the big picture, we can’t see what is just around the corner. So instead I choose to be thankful…I wasn’t a widow, he wasn’t suddenly handicapped…no, I became thankful, grateful and willing to accept right where I was in that moment of time. A day befor my anniversary I made the choice to be thankful!

Colossians 3:15 TPT…

^“Let your heart be always guided by the peace of the Anointed One, who called you to peace as part of his one body. And always be thankful.”

Is there something that has gone awry in your heart today? This thing may have you fearful, uncertain, feeling sorry for yourself, or maybe even angry?

If you are willing to hand those circumstance over to the Lord; admit you can’t continue to live with them any longer; and be willing to put your trust in the Lord, your Father, He will right what’s wrong, heal what’s broken, and will apply His love balm right where it’s needed.

Look around you girl…you have much to be thankful for. Even if you only see one or two things, it’s enough to carry you through. Please remember just how much you are loved and let Him show you how much as your wounds heal and trust is regained.

The Father is Here for You…

Thank you Lord for the gift of thankfulness, for giving me a heart that won’t rest until it is once again in sync with yours. I give you my pain and sorrows, my fears, regrets and uncertainties and ask you to work them all together for my good as I lay them down at your feet. Thank you for being my Father, the One who cares and loves me so, in Jesus’ name.