Father wounds are very painful and they can take a very long time to heal. We have been airing a program on our radio station that has naturally–because of upcoming Father’s Day–made father the focus. Rightfully so!

One day a year we can honor the man (in some of our lives) that served to be that marvelous example of love, provision, admiration and respect. As I said, in some of our lives. I think it is truly wonderful when people speak of their fathers with the utmost of respect and admiration. But on the other hand, there have been too many poor examples of that fatherhood role exhibited by those who claim the title of Father, Dad, Pop, Papa, etc.

I don’t mean to sound sarcastic about this, I really don’t, I am however standing in for those of us who either had poor examples of fatherhood inflicted upon them or didn’t have a father at all such as myself.

• Did you have a father who was in the house but didn’t show his love for you?
• Was your home dysfunctional where your father was missing or maybe you were afraid of him?
• Maybe you were like me, no father in the picture at all that you can remember?

Now listening to the gentleman on our program give the most illustrious talk about the man he looked up to and admired with the utmost of respect, his father, made me long for that missing link in my life. I get pretty teary-eyed to think that there can be an earthly man that fills that mold of ‘father’ so wonderfully as the speaker’s father did. Wow! The respect and admiration was more than evident as he shared of losing his father and spending those last days with his hero.

Okay, you are thinking what is this girl’s problem? Can’t she just be thrilled for a shining example of an earthly father. Really, I do think it is wonderful but my heart has been empty for the father that I longed for and never had. I always heard what a wonderful man he was but funny, that wonderful man couldn’t take care of my mother and me. I am repeatedly told I would have loved him as he was such a pioneer type, rugged and fun-loving…but I have only seen pictures of me with him as a baby and as a one-year-old.

I understand he came from a family of good fortune but mom went to work to support us because that great guy of a father couldn’t hold a job.When I wrote an aunt to find out some information about my father she told me he was a “disgrace to the family and poor excuse for a human being.” Wow, there was no love lost there! Needless to say, my image of this “wonderful” man was somewhat skewed and the whole scenario of fatherhood seemed quite a mystery to a little girl who remained curious and longing for what she thought others had and she did not.It took many years of very difficult circumstances for me to realize that I was looking for ‘love’ (father’s love) but that I was going at it all backwards. In my early 40’s my life took a ‘right’ turn by realizing that I had a root of bitterness that I wasn’t even aware of. And this thing had wrapped all around my heart. If unforgiveness is a stumbling block you might want to read this post on the Toxic Root of Bitterness.

It was 12 years earlier that I had opened myself to the gift of salvation and received Jesus Christ into my heart. But even that didn’t fill my empty heart (or so I thought.) A series of circumstances brought about by my pride, dysfunction and strong will found me miserable and ready to give it all up.

It is remarkable to think that God had a different plan. And part of this journey was acknowledging that the pain in my heart was–for the most part–due to anger toward a man I never even knew. It is hard to fathom how someone you never knew could have such an impact on your life! It was in large part because of the “Freedom in Christ” ministry of Dr. Neil Anderson, that I was able to release that bitterness and begin to see that I really do have a perfect Father now. I still have twinges of longing for “God with skin” like when you want a great big hug from arms that can just pull you in and hold you. So you can snuggle your head into his chest and feel the comfort of all comforts only a daddy can provide. For now, that can’t be, but someday, I am going to run to my Abba Father, my Daddy and He is going to embrace me and never let me go.

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” Psalm 68:5

Friend, if you have that emptiness in your heart, a hole that just runs on empty because there was no father love to fill it up, I have an answer for you. Will you let the Father of all fathers begin to fill that hole with love that will begin to heal as a balm does on a wound? He is the Father to the fatherless, and He will never let you down, leave or forsake you! Cry out to Him right now, something just like this: