Today I am burdened for some people that I love and admire and really look to as friends that can help me to walk a deeper walk with my Father.
Today I prayed that these friends would stand up to the enemy and tell him right where to go just like Jesus responded to Peter when he tried to rebuke Jesus who then responded “get thee behind me satan…”
Today is just one of those days where I see the wearing down of the saints and my heart hurts when my circle of friends is hurting.
Today was a day of intercession for these ones who are battling on the front lines but getting very weary from battle wounds.
Today I stood in the gap and and prayed that God would intervene before it is too late…
Today on the station I heard a profound statement from one of our feature vignettes who asked “Do you know why I am still married?” then responded “Only because of my fear of the Lord”.
Today, I wonder if I fear God enough to be obedient to His call on my life, in whatever capacity He calls me to.
Today, I really want to renew my covenant to the Lord that no matter how…no matter what…no matter why…I will be obedient…even if…this is hard because right now it is easy to say I would never but…when in the valley of darkness, the fiery trial, the pain and hurt, even if…would I hold on? Would I bite the bullet and hang in there? Despite the world view, the appearance of common sense, the pressures of those who have gone through and taken the plunge and suffered the consequences and are living with their decisions…
Today, I will take one day at a time. Today I am strong. Tomorrow I might be weak and I will need help to keep standing firm against all the odds. I just can’t look too far ahead but will step one day at a time with my eyes as fixed as they can be and my heart steadfast and assured that Father loves me and will guide me into tomorrow where once again I will rise and take His hand as He guides me once more through the next day, then hopefully the next…
Tonight I go to bed weary from my burden but certain that God has heard the brokenness of my struggling friends and I can trust that He is near for His word tells me in Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
I can rest…
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A Time of Sorrow…
A few years back our community was saddened
by the deaths of four people, all suddenly and all within a week. In a community of approximately 6,500, you realize that the loss of four people (who were a vital part of the community) is significant. This created heavy sadness as we were all grieved at the loss we all felt here.
Most people–if in our thirties upward–are usually jogged when the loss takes a woman in her early forties, a woman and man in their fifties and a sixty year old man suddenly. We are shocked and suddenly drawn to ponder the brevity of life. That probably is not such a bad thing to do once in a while but it is difficult on the heels of four deaths in a row.
The first death was extremely sudden and the gentleman was a custodian in our schools. A good man and loved by the kids and staff as well. He leaves a wife and several children. His funeral was even at the High School where he spent so much of his time. My daughter went to school with his son and stepdaughter and she even made it home to attend his funeral.
While preparing to come home for that funeral, my daughter also got word of the death of one of her best friend’s sister. She had been hospitalized suddenly a few weeks prior and given a short time to live. Friends, she was only forty-two, a wife and mother of two young men! My daughter being so concerned for her dear friend was beside herself. Needless to say she planned to return home once again to attend another funeral. This one was a bit more personal because she had known the family since a young age.
The man in his sixties was unknown to me but many others knew him. I don’t really know anything about him but I believe that sixty is just too young! I have a friend whose husband was impacted by his death because they graduated together. How hard it is when we begin to see people our own age die.
Finally, I want to mention the life of a vivacious woman who I had the privilege of knowing (as many others did) because she was dedicated to helping people achieve their college degrees. Several years prior she was dealt the blow of cancer and survived only to have it return again and take her. She left a husband, daughter and many people who loved her for her kindness and fun personality, but mostly because she seemed to genuinely care. Her life has had an impact on many because of the job she held at our community college.
Death is an interesting process that we will all have to go through as the life process completes. It will come to all of us! It will have an affect on the people in our sphere of influence and most probably on our families. To those in the process of grieving the loss of someone it can just be so difficult to process through. We miss those who are taken at such a young age and unexpectedly. We wonder about all the “what if’s” and what could have been done differently, and all the things we should have said to that one who leaves us so suddenly. Chances are good that for a time we will change the way we look at life as we see it a bit shorter than we did previously.
I recently had my own epiphany regarding life and its brevity. My belief in Jesus Christ has given me a fresh outlook on life and one thing I know is that it is the Lord who gives and takes away. His hand is providential and He guides us along the way. Yes, things like cancer and poor health can come along and zap us but the Lord permits all things to happen to His children. Not one thing happens that hasn’t been run through His loving hand, and He is aware of everything that affects our life.
In the third chapter of Ecclesiastes we read from the pen of King Solomon (the wisest of men) that there is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace. (:2-8 NKJ)
How is your life today? Like me you might choose to run about, harried with too much to do—without much thought about tomorrow. But let me encourage you to look out beyond yourself today. If we could just make a difference for one person each day we have on the face of this earth, we will make a significant difference and be remembered for how we loved God and loved each other! I continue to say that I want to finish this earthly race strong. Whether in sickness or in health I can make a difference within my sphere of influence.
Friend, how about you? How is your heart today? Will you look beyond yourself and see others the way God sees them?
Father, show me who it is today that needs an extra touch of kindness. Let me be the one who will do something kind for someone who needs help today. Use my words of encouragement to help that struggling one to go another day! Let me bring words of hope that will make a difference, in Jesus Name, amen.
What Will You do for Mom?
My little mother (she is only five feet tall to my five foot eight) reminds me frequently of how she picked my name. My given name is Kimberly. Apparently my father was not too convinced, but mom hung in there. Being a bit of a trend setter in her day, she always did things a bit out of the ordinary. I would call her creative. I am not so sure that I understand being named after a diamond mine in South Africa but…far be it from me to argue with the one who fought hard to give me that name. (After all, it is better than Kimberly Clark, the Kleenex manufacturer.)
At fifteen years of age, I ran away from home for the second and final time. I needed an alias to go by, so I gave myself the name of Dawn. I liked it because of the beautiful morning sky. Since then I have used Dawn as my first name. When finally reunited with my mom after three years, my mother was not very happy to find out that I had changed my name but had to resign herself to the fact I was now Dawn. I have a couple of those Biblical name cards and the one for Dawn says “The Break of Day” and has the Scripture from Psalm 18:2 “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.” (which I love.) Mom, on the other hand, loved to tell people (when I would introduce her), “Her real name is Kimberly!” That really used to bug me something fierce.
I have watched my mother climb into her 80’s and struggle with her health since her late 70’s, and I began to asked the Lord to show me what part I could play in her coming to Christ and have peace in her heart (after all, I pray diligently for her salvation.) The Lord spoke to my heart a couple of years back and said to just love, serve and bless her. Okay, Lord, show me how because You know how strong willed and independent this little woman is. Unfortunately, as she is aging she is also losing her vision from macular degeneration and because of that she has been forced to give up much of her independence. For those of you who know what I’m talking about, that can be very trying for the one going through it and some other issues that are a bit humiliating for her to contend with. Hey, life can get difficult as we age!
One summer (mom tries to stays with us in the summer months when she is feeling well enough) on the first day she was here she injured her leg exercising her “I don’t need any help” attitude. She fell off a counter and gouged her leg up terribly and we ended up in the ER. This became a very unique opportunity for me to do ‘hands on’ care for ‘Miss Independent’. I had to change her dressing twice a day throughout most of the summer. It took four months for this wound to heal! But, in the process, I was able to care for her tenderly with that thing we all love and that is human touch. At one point I even asked her if I could anoint her with oil and pray for her healing and amazingly she said yes! When I was done, she had tears in her eyes and could not explain why. God is indeed up to something, don’t you think?
It was fall and my program was beginning it’s fifth year and I like to do something new each new year to keep things fresh. So I asked the guys what they would think if I changed my on air name to Kimberly Dawn. (It was such a God thing that I would even go there.) They liked the newness of it and said go for it. This was a real blessing to my mom and she periodically asks if I am still going by that name and I am always so pleased to tell her “Of course!” The funny thing is that I am actually enjoying being called by that name, as well, although I do not expect those that only know me as Dawn to change how they address me unless they want to. A little side note – my boss and former boss always teased me by calling me Kimberly Dawn now and again. Here is what Kimberly means – “From the Royal Meadow.” Nice, huh? And the Scripture is also delightful from Psalm 119:73 (NASB) “Your hands made me and fashioned me; Give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments.” I just know this is softening my mom’s heart and I am believing that God is making a way into her heart where there seems to be no way!
Please pray with me that God will continue to show me ways that I can be Jesus to her and that she will come to know the One Who will never leave her or forsake her and Who will love her with His everlasting love. I am believing the Holy Spirit is wooing her and that it will not be long now for her to take her rightful place in God’s Kingdom. And I thank God for bringing me to a place where I would want to be obedient even to the point of going back to a name I did not care for!
Are You Walking in Fear of Faith?
So what is it that motivates you? There is something within each one of us that keeps us going, keeps us taking one step forward and another step after that one. I am speaking specifically of our Christian journey here on this terrestrial ball. Our walk is something we either just do without much thought given to it or it is proactive and spurned onward from the motivation of either fear or faith.
The basics are the daily routine we find ourselves in with its nuts and bolts of dealing with everyday life. Our family, job and those unexpected interruptions (negative or positive) that we may just cruise through. But that can be so mundane. I don’t know about you but I want more! I want more of God, His power, love, experience and His blessings to accompany me while on the journey.
I like this verse in Proverbs 16:9 “The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” Oh how we can get in the way of His will for our lives! You see, it could be that He has planted something within you that could potentially rock your world and raise the bar of excitement and fulfillment as you walk out His plan for you. Then along comes an anchor of doubt that will try to rob you of the joy of the journey.
I am so afraid that…
It scares me to even think of going there…
But what if I fail and can’t do it…
What will people say if I do that…
It seems to me that more often than not, we move forward dragging an anchor of fear instead of allowing faith to ignite our passion and propel us forward into that to which God has called us. We shrink back in fear and stay quite comfortable in our complacency! I know, I have done it myself and then I look back and wonder what could have been had I gone forward with that certain dream or vision.
God’s word tells us that “…without FAITH it is impossible to please God”. Yet time and time again I make the choice to opt out because of the risks involved. I truly believe that we know when the Lord confirms in our heart a particular direction to take and how sad it is when the excuses come and we do not proceed. We miss out on the blessings and possibly the blessings intended for others by playing it safe.
We all (Christian or non) go about our day with a certain measure of certainty that as we enter our cars to go where needed that the vehicle will get us to our destination, I am not talking about that kind of faith. What I am addressing is the kind found in Hebrews 11:1:
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Could it be that God has laid something on your heart that seems a bit out of the box for you to undertake? Has he called you to a mission trip or to lead a small group, sing in the choir, start a new business venture or home school your children? These all have the potential to make some of us shake in our boots don’t they! But if you want to walk in obedience you need to get out of your comfort zone and act upon that calling. Even if you cannot see the finished product or end of the journey! He just calls us to action, to put one foot in front of the other as we lean into Him for direction!
God has given me some dreams and confirmed some things that seemed rather ‘scary’ for me to 
undertake. Like being willing to share my story and love for Him with others whether it is in written form, at a speaking engagement or on the air. As God has confirmed in me to write my story out immediately my thoughts were who cares you and your story? That is a lot of time and energy expended for something nobody would be interested in reading. But after the confirmation was settled in me I knew that I was not to worry about who or if anyone would read it, I was just to begin the process of writing my life story. God knows what will happen with it and I am to act, not shrink back and decline His request. My part is to trust in what Hebrews 11:1 tells me, even if I can’t see or visualize the outcome.
Are you one of those folks who needs to have your “ducks in a row” before you proceed? Some would argue that you would be taking precautions and securing your venture before moving forward. Please, I am not talking about being foolish throwing caution to the wind. I am talking about the calling upon you that keeps nagging at the back of your mind and you can’t seem to let it go. Then someone says something or a thing happens that really just settles in your mind that yes, you are to move forward. Your next step is to put one foot in front of the next even if you cannot see exactly where you are headed.
Thinking back to when I was first asked if I would be interested in working part-time at the Christian radio station, I walked into the control room and looked at all the stuff (equipment) on the walls and said uh, I don’t think so! I wasn’t trained in radio. I didn’t have a clue regarding electronic stuff and there were eight knobs on that control board that completely ‘scared me’ to think of having to operate. I agreed to pray about it and willingly said, “God, if You want me to do this then I trust You will guide me through the process of learning how.” I didn’t go off to broadcasting school or take a class in electronics but I did willingly say yes. Just about 20 years later I am still in radio and some amazing doors of opportunity have opened as a result of saying yes to God.
Now, what about you? Let me encourage you not to miss out on the blessing of walking in obedience and allowing God to use You for His glory. Think of it as sowing into God’s kingdom.
Father, I am so excited to be serving You in several of the ways that You have called me to serve. I am even pumped to see what You have in store for the next 20 years. I ask that You would keep me from complacency and the fleshly desire to take the easy way out instead of trusting You to lead me into Your way of everlasting! Everlasting joy and fulfillment knowing that I am in Your will, being used by You to introduce You to those who don’t know who You are and encouraging those who know You to walk in the abundant life You have for them. Let me keep pressing on till Jesus returns, in Your name, Amen.
You BUGG!
Green is not one of my favorite colors, although some of the off shades like sage, some chartreuse hues and the darker spruce green blends I find pleasing. However, for some reason the color green is used to depict an emotion that is not friendly and can even be deadly and cause many problems. I am certain you have heard the sayings, ‘green with envy’ and ‘bit by the green-eyed monster’.
Perhaps, if in all honesty, we could admit that we have dealt with jealousy at some time in our life. From the childhood, “I want what so and so has” or “How do they get such good grades” to “Wow, I’d do anything to get a car like they have,” some incidents are certainly more subtle than others. Nevertheless, jealousy stirs up something within us that is not healthy indicating our dissatisfaction and insecurities. As an only child for the first ten years of my life, my competitive personality was usually motivated by other’s successes. How disappointing to find that it still creeps in once in a while!
When you are my age, having been through some stuff while learning through my many mistakes, I would like to think that I am maturing as I continue on this faith walk. I am one of the somewhat ‘older’ women who can enjoy being available to help younger women along on their journeys. However, I was quite taken aback when I found myself bitten by the BUGG!
When a gal I know was going through a difficult season, she asked me if I would mentor her along. We have similar ministries, both very strong personalities and determined. I was surprised she had asked me but agreed, and so I began to pray for her and asked the Lord to grow all that she gave to Him. I realized that this girl had God’s favor all over her and she seemed to walk through open doors without a hitch. Her speaking ministry really opened up for her as did her radio ministry. I was so amazed at the way everything fell into place for her as she pursued her God-path. I was amazed and happy for her until I realized that I, too, was on a similar journey but seemed to remaining very stagnant. The growth was very minimal and all of a sudden I was bitten and began to be envious of her favor. I began to compare myself with her and wondered why it seemed I was unable to have God’s favor.
That transition within me cause a few things to take place and I was now uncomfortable around her and our relationship got strained. A gap grew between us and our friendship became reduced to formality. The next few years amazed me as I watched her grow and become ‘successful.’ The reality hit me that I was jealous of her. But wait a minute, I am the ‘spiritually mature’ one here, so that can’t be, I reasoned with myself. I was getting very tired of the battle raging within me and the Holy Spirit just would not leave me alone.
It was my birthday and out of the blue she surprised me by saying she would like to take me to lunch. I naturally wondered if this was supposed to be the time I would need to humble myself and confront my issue with her. I so wanted the misery of these feelings to disappear as I was having a hard time believing that I could have allowed this to happen. The fleece went out; she would contact me to plan our lunch date. If she remembered, I knew it was God’s timing to own up to my shortcoming. If she forgot then perhaps it would be another time or God might just let me keep this one between me and Him (ha, ha.) Needless to say, she called and we we had lunch a few days later.
We had a delightful time chatting away and I got all caught up on her journeys and all God was doing in her ministry. Then, as we were nearing the end of our time (I knew I had to be on air in 30 minutes), I told her I had something difficult to tell her. I admitted to being very envious of her success and asked her to forgive me. This became a God moment, as the huge wall of denial fell and suddenly I had such peace and love for her because that BUGG had been squeezing the life out of our relationship.
Wow! As uncomfortable as it can be, reconciliation is such a sweet experience. As Oliver Hazard Perry said, “We have met the enemy and they are ours.” Well, I faced the enemy of jealousy and through Christ he was now defeated! Peter tells us in 1 Peter 2:1 that as we become that “Living Stone and a Holy People…” we must “…put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.”
Father, will you help me to see when the enemy is messing with my emotions and help me to see without denial blocking the way to reconciliation. I really love the fact that You have made me, Kimberly, in Your image and I don’t need to compare myself to anyone else. May You be glorified as I rest my situations in Your hands to work out all the struggles to Your glory, in Your sweet name!
If We Are the Body…
Maybe like me you have been disappointed in the church, indicating the four wall type of church. I have been in several church type conference settings where the Spirit of God has been alive and well and moving in an incredibly obvious way, breaking hardened hearts, ushering in a spirit of forgiveness and where healing is taking place physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is so where I want my church back home to be! And when I don’t see God moving in my own environment I do become discouraged!
What a refreshing surprise to get to go to church, help lead the worship which I only do occasionally, and hear a message from Acts 3 where the lame man was healed…the pastor then asks why don’t we see that happen here? And my question exactly, why don’t we? I truly believe that there are several elements at play here but I rather like to think that what was stirred up was the question Jesus asked the paralytic in John 5 and that we could ask ourselves as well, “Do you want to be healed?” Or is it just a faith issue, do we believe that God can do what He has shown He can do in many examples in the Bible or “other” people’s lives? How about “nah, that was for those early church days all that miracle stuff.”
You know, I came to a place where I had to decide if this church stuff was for real. I had to decide that even if the move of God wasn’t happening in my church that it is happening in His people and that I wanted to be one of the ones that it was happening in! I did not want to miss out on a thing when it came to God and the move of His Spirit. So for me it began with humble beginnings of a time of prayer and praise with a very few close friends. I couldn’t make a thing happen on my own but I could let God change my heart and indeed he has undertaken to do just that.
So prayer is one of the keys that is unlocking the closed door to God moving in and amongst His people! People are hungry for more of Him, people are tired of status quo, people are hurting, broken, addicted, living dysfunctionally and miracles? What does that look like those described?
Prayer = an opening for God to move…and indeed, prayer happened one morning in my church when many people came forward and pastor anointed with oil and we all prayed for one another and I am believing that God is moving in the hearts and situations of this body of Christ.
Psalm 133 says it so very sweetly…
“Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the LORD has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.”
Three precious verses that reveal God’s pleasure when we unite together and instead of fragments of the body we are in sweet fellowship one with another. Let me ask, can you pray for someone and be disgruntled with them? I really don’t think I can! Can you speak life into someone and be disgusted with them? I want to say it is impossible.
God delights when His church comes together to breath life into one another and it is then that He ushers in a healing balm of forgiveness and heals brokenness and many other afflictions that the body today is suffering with. We are a crippled, wounded body of Christ but on this particular morning, a body of Christ sought after God, and prayed for one another! And frankly, I can’t wait to see what God is going to do next!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY]
Are You Driving Under the Influence?
I love this journey on the road to glory. It is filled with all kinds of bumps, curves, crossroads and even potholes along the way. To say the least, it is exciting because one never knows what will appear around the corner.
For many years, I chose to drive this journey in my very safe and efficient–let’s say–economy four door. The key word here is safe. I cruised along, not going too fast or too slow but just sort of humming along. But then I had a taste of something very different, a taste of real driving that involved some risks and, yes, some difficulties. It was exciting and even exhilarating at times. What was the difference?
When you get your new credit cards, you usually have to call a phone number and activate the card for it to become usable. I equate living the Spirit-filled life to activating your card. The good news is there are no limits upon activation. When I was able to fully understand the Spirit-filled life, the passion for this journey was kicked up a notch or two, and it continues to escalate as I move in His sway (so to speak).
The verses that truly describe my life as it has transitioned from struggle to freedom come from Psalm 40:1-3. Yes, even as a Christian, after coming to the Lord and safely cruising along in my safety zone, I was miserable! Everything came to a head when my life as a Christian was miserable and I wondered what the point was to the Christian life was if I was so miserable. I figured that if this was the journey for me, I better go deeper and put God to the test by getting to know Him more. It was there that God intervened and met me head-on as I was crying out in deep distress over a prodigal son, daughter and fractured marriage. But get a load of these verses. Psalm 40:1-3 says,
“I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.”
The reality of those Scriptures suddenly upgraded my vehicle to a Jaguar. God revealed Himself to me in a very exciting way as I cried out to Him to save my marriage, reminding Him of my commitment to my husband and my covenant that I would never again divorce. He prompted me to pray for my husband like never before, and I prayed the blood of Jesus over my marriage and home. Today I love my husband like I never have and our relationship is solid and joy-filled. My daughter is a beautiful wife and mother who came back to the Lord after her own series of hardships, and we are extremely proud of her and the family of four boys she and her husband are growing! I love seeing how God has even developed her heart of prayer. Now I am still waiting on my prodigal sons, but somehow I know it is coming!
You will need to refuel now and again because you can’t run on empty. You can really expend a lot of energy on these exciting journeys, and that is when the Lord says, “Come and let Me fill you up full to overflowing.” It is in that overflowing that we are able to pour out and take the risks we never dreamed or imagined that we could.
Let me encourage you to get out of the safety zone and go to where God is calling you to live and enjoy serving Him. Driving under the influence is not status quo or easy. But it will be a life filled with amazing opportunities as God shows Himself strong, empowering you to step out into the Spirit-filled journey.
Spiritually Barren
We all have dry times in our lives when there is just nothing happening for us spiritually and it just seems as if we are crawling along in our walk. Everything is just as it always is and it can seem alright for a time but then we sense the growing barrenness in our life. The old feeling of walking alone and out of sync with the flow. Everyone else seems to be alive and excited to be serving God but for some reason, I feel blah spiritually!
I have been there so many times and frankly I do not like being there. Traveling that path for any length of time is very weighty and I certainly mean that to say with a load of sorrow. I have never been in a sand dessert but for a time I did live in the northern part of New Mexico. It is not quite the same but there are some similarities with the hot dry, summers. In a sand desert, there is some life but not a bustling flurry of activity as in a thriving forest. It is simply too hot and dry.
This ugly cactus plant of mine is rather similar to the plants that grow in the desert. It tends to thrive on very little water and it is so ugly that I almost wish it would die so I could get rid of it. I think it is about 45 years old and as you can see it doesn’t get huge. What grows (very slowly I might add) are these ugly long fronds or whatever you call them with their prickly little edges (although not like the usual cacti with its thorns.)
It sits rather lopsided in my pot and obstructs my husbands view of the television if I don’t turn it around the other way.
My dry times are rather like that old cactus, dry, barren, lonely and fruitless. It really is a terrible place to be. I am not even nice to be around because I have no joy, motivation or energy. I just want to hang it up. Interestingly, it even causes those that I am around to get cranky, like my husband. My hard places don’t just effect me, they also have an impact on those around me. My co-workers know when Kimberly Dawn is going through rough times because I am generally a joy-filled person. (Praise God!) But not with the weight of the world on my shoulders, pressing me down! Or a mind preoccupied with relationships gone awry.
It is difficult to own up to but these dry times are usually caused by my own poor choices. If you are a relational person like me, you know how important people are in your life and you need them to interact with and fellowship with and just to enjoy life with. Thank you Lord for creating fellowship with one another. But then the offense comes along and steals the joy. I usually make provision for the flesh and react by harboring bitterness or jealousy in my heart and wham, there I go down in the desert for some rounds about the mountain. My thoughts are possessed with wrong thinking. My reactions are very “me” centered around all my thoughts and hurt feelings. Woe is me, they don’t understand, what about my feelings on the issue and don’t I have a “right” to feel the way I do? Just look how they have hurt me! You really can try to justify almost anything!
When I go to bed at night, I want sweet thoughts and pleasurable memories of my day or week. I want to reflect on the goodness of the Lord and to be able to see His hand in motion throughout my day. If I am in the midst of a desert experience I can’t see any of that, just miserable, poor me. If I dwell too long in that place I become dryer, harder and more and more lifeless because I am getting more and more bitter in my own defense. What an icky place to be!
How in the world do I come to an end of my desert journey? Thanks be to God for the power of the Holy Spirit in spite of quenching His Spirit with my “me-ness” mentality. Something jogs my heart and I begin to see that I am the problem not the other party. I’m the one who is holding on to the bitterness, unforgiveness, anger and resentment because all I can see is how mistreated I have been. God’s Word has sooo…much to say about the above list of excuses we use to stay in our desert land:
This Scripture from Matthew 5:23,24 really sheds a spotlight on relational issues out of sync:
“So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”
I am believing that my offering to God is not going to amount to anything with resentment at the root of my heart. And I have worshiped and wondered why I couldn’t sense His presence and wondered why He seemed so distant from me.
From Romans 13:14 Paul tells,
“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
And this includes along with all sorts of immoralities, strife and envy. And once again from Mark 12:25
“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”
You have to admit that forgiveness is a huge issue in God’s eyes. I guess that means that I better make it a priority also. He says (God says) 70 times 7 and that if I cannot forgive then I too will not be forgiven. God forbid I don’t get a grasp on this one! So, what is my excuse now? Can I really justify my situation any longer? I don’t think so! Okay Holy Spirit, show me how to get myself to the watering hole ’cause I am so thirsty and so dry and desperately longing for Your presence once again.
You see, with enough sunlight and just the right amount of water, that ugly old cactus does an amazing thing every once in a while. It unpredictably blooms. Sometimes only one or two but these huge gorgeous blooms come out of the most unlikely places. And like that blooming cactus, I too need adequate time in the “Son” so that I can produce fruit that will please my Father and bless others. How’s your heart today? Are you filled with bitterness and anger? Unforgiveness and resentments? You may know what the fruit of the Spirit is and that is what I want to exhibit in my life towards others. It is through a victorious life that this fruit grows and is used to show others the love of Christ.
Galatians 5:22,23
“But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.”
Father, will You show me my unpleasantness and its root? I don’t want to be there anymore. I want the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in my life so that when others look at my life they see You. Help me to root out all the negative things like anger, resentment, bitterness, envy and strife that is keeping me in bondage. Set me free and even if I need to go to someone for forgiveness will You give me the grace to humble myself and approach that one so that we might be restored to fellowship with one another and with You? I will trust that You will work out all the details of this in my life and that You will receive all the glory, honor and praise due Your Name. I will lean on Your promises and trust this to be resolved in Your perfect timing. Restore me Lord to Your presence and fill me with Your precious Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ Name, Amen
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI]Do You Fight Anxiety?
It was back in February that we said goodbye to our older Bonneville and welcomed a Fusion into the family. (When the kids leave, vehicles and animals become your kids — sort of.) I had only driven the new vehicle a couple of weeks when while I was driving to town the low tire-pressure warning came on. I thought I would just go to the post office and then stop to get air when I returned.
But when I parked at the station and looked at my right rear tire, it was flat. How in the world could a brand-new tire be flat? I asked the attendant, Davey, to put enough air in the tire so I could park and he could fix it for me later. But the tire wouldn’t even hold air, and that’s when he discovered there was a hunk of metal in it. When I picked up my car, he said there was a utility knife blade stuck upright in between the treads and there was no holding air. But he got the job done.
It was only a week later that I went to get in my car and saw the low tire-pressure warning again — another flat tire. What’s up with that? Well, last year we re-shingled our house and garage and a leftover shingle nail eventually found that tire. God, why in the world are we dealing with this stuff? Oh, how He must laugh when I say things like that. Of course, stuff is going to happen, always. I am not exempt from difficulties; I live in a fallen world.
In the fall of 2011, I began speaking for an organization called Stonecroft. Most of you might recognize the name if I say Christian Women’s Club or Connection, which is what many of the clubs are calling themselves today. My trips take me on some pretty far journeys since I live at the top of Minnesota in the “Icebox of the Nation” and to go anywhere seems like a journey of several hours. My longest trip has been to the North Dakota circuit of Harvey, Minot and then down to Bismarck — lots of miles.
Naturally I prayed that my tire would hold its patch job since I would be in the middle of unfamiliar territory and alone. After six days I was set to return home and was pretty anxious to see my husband after he had gallbladder surgery while I was gone. I was rolling right along from Bismarck early one morning when suddenly my low tire-pressure warning once again came on. I started to get nauseous and fretted because there was nothing that looked like a gas station as far as I could see.
I am thankful that God reminded me of Philippians 4:6, which I immediately put to practice: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
As I recited that verse, I felt God’s presence and care for me. I didn’t stop but began to pray for a station that would be alongside the freeway so I could check the tire. I looked with my mirrors to see if the tire looked really flat, and it didn’t, which puzzled me. But I made the choice to trust the Scripture I recited instead of giving in to my anxious thoughts. Philippians 4:7 says: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
I relaxed in knowing that God would provide for my request, and I had an unusual peace that also flooded my uncertain thinking. It wasn’t right away, but a nice truck stop appeared fairly soon afterward and I was able to check the tire (not the rear patched one but my front driver’s side.) and put in air. I then praised my God for His immediate care for me, all alone in North Dakota on a big freeway. Isn’t God just so good to His children?
I made it all the way home, only stopping two hours from home to check the air. None had leaked out. Well, our neighbors repaired that tire and found another nail. I guess it is inevitable when you work next to the transfer station road where all kinds of construction waste are hauled.
But I’ve used those two verses often recently to conquer fear and anxiety and to strengthen others who are in situations of similar uncertainty. Write those verses down and memorize them. Just get them in your heart so that when times of unrest come you will have some ready ammunition to defeat the enemy’s tactics of fear and anxiety. To all who are in Christ: You are armed and dangerous. Now use it.
Eternity in My Heart…
One of the wisest men ever was King Solomon. In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon says that God has set eternity in our hearts! That is a profound statement. I cannot imagine what that invokes in you, but for me it exposes a lot of wasted time and energy that I have spent trying to ‘fit into’ the world around me. I am learning that eternity does not describe most of my world thus far. Too much concern for the peripherals of life. Too much emphasis on the world’s definition of fulfillment, love, happiness, etc. Let’s face it-too much ME!
God, Who is continuing to bring healing to my soul, is revealing a mound of insecurities that the enemy has used to keep me pressed down and ineffective. However, I have found and can proclaim that ”Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world”…ah, ha! For that I praise His name. Now the key is to discern the difference. Like so many, I have had a skewed perspective on life and what it is all about.
There is a hymn titled “This World is Not My Home”, written by Albert E. Brumley, that sure puts it straight, as the first couple lines of one stanza read:
This world is not my home I’m just passing through
my treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue…
(and then it finishes with)
I can’t feel at home in this world any more.
So where are we laying up our treasures? This is a question worthy of our personal reflection. You may be familiar with this Scripture from Matthew 6:20,21:
“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
I have heard some well known Bible teachers mention “just look at your check book if you want to see where you are laying up your treasures.” Solomon tells us the truth when he says that God has placed eternity in our hearts, but most of us are not living as God created us to live. Click To Tweet Dare I say most of us are living as though this world is all there is.
Let me ask you (as I question myself), what treasures are you investing in? Worldly or heavenly? You see if I am going to be overly concerned with fitting into the worlds ways (which my insecurities tend to push me toward) then I am forsaking looking beyond today to gratify immediate worldly (or as the Word puts it ‘fleshly’ desires.)
Have you ever thought of the perspective between our life on this earth and eternity? I think it is an amazing picture of contrast much like looking at a model of the solar system as we compare the size of the smaller planets to the sun. Or our galaxy to the rest of space, a bit difficult to put in perspective. But that being said, for myself, I need to keep tracking on purposeful living, with an eternal perspective!
Let me close with one very simple thought that God has used to spur me on to the right path, “Love God and love others.” Not that it is an easy transition, but I can be intentional about simply loving God. Daily spending some time with Him, enjoying His presence and then freely letting Him mess with my old patterns of living as He shows me my world through His lens. The rest is up to me to willingly begin to lay up my treasures in heaven for His glory!
